I mean, I adore those little dirtbags but man … there’s four of them. FOUR. What was I thinking? Not about logistics, that’s for sure. #deathbydobbing
I’m looking at all of your posts – all of you sensible folk with one or two kids – all of you that are going to theme parks, visiting friends, eating out, seeing shows, enjoying the beach. Oh yeah, I know we go to the beach too – the key word there was enjoying.
Four. It’s not that huge. I have friends with five … and some with even more, *gulps and wonders if one can get their tubes tied twice* but it’s getting up there.
Four is enough of a number to notice that life has maybe moved beyond the ‘regular’, enough of a number to realise that one more might be pushing the envelope. Life is probably showing you signs that maybe you have enough kids and I’ve listed a few of them for you here.
18 signs that you might have enough kids …
You assess the need for discipline on a ‘Did anybody die?’ basis.
Kid number four is eating out of the bin and you think “Yes! One less for lunch today.”
You buckle everyone into their carseats noticing one is vacant, and it takes you 10 minutes to work out who is missing.
Rather than write everyone’s names, your gift cards are signed ‘Us’.
The stash of numerical birthday candles in your third drawer would allow you to cater the party of a 98765432110 year old.
Your eggs come in cartons of 48.
When responding to a misbehaving child, it takes you a minimum of three attempts to get their name right.
Your friends come to visit then leave … via the vasectomy clinic.
When you go out to a restau … JUST KIDDING! As if.
You begin a game of hide’n’seek and tell the kids you’ll come find them after you count to eight-million.
The dude at the bottle-shop greets you with “Your usual?”
You see comets more often than you see the bottom of the laundry hamper.
It’s occurred to you that Brad and Ange don’t have with one with red hair, and you notice that you have some spare …
There’s not enough circles on a game of Twister.
You’ve joined the gym, purely so you can have a shower in peace.
You can use the ‘groups’ entrance at theme parks.
You call the hairdressers and they need to clear the whole day to fit you all in.
Milk consumption means you’ve seriously assessed the viability of having your own cow.
Have you got a bunch of kids? What would you include on this list?
Pro-wine, anti-bra and possibly the world’s most unenthusiastic driver, Gold Coaster, Rebel Wylie has been writing and editing parenting titles for several years, covering everything from baby vom to interviewing celebrities and everything in between. She has also managed to keep four kids of her own fed, mostly clothed and functioning with two, max five catastrophes per week. You can read more of Rebel at Families Magazine – Gold Coast, or on her personal blog Rebel Without A Pause.