- February 1, 2017 at 12:30 pm #7607Roshelle LewisParticipant
I’m now 13.5 weeks pregnant, we have seen that the baby is happy and healthy which is great news yet I’m not happy.
I’ve wanted to be a mum all my life yet right now I feel more alone, anxious, misunderstood than I’ve ever felt before!
I’m scared of failing at being a mum, I already feel like I’ve failed by not being super excited! My dad committed auicide when I was 3.5yrs old and I’m scared all my crying, stress headaches, inability to function is me showing signs I’m going to be a terrible mother and just will fuck it all up! I would never hurt myself or another person but I feel like I’m just as bad as my dad because I feel like I’m already disappointing the baby by not feeling happy or excited! People look at my so ashamed when I’m not jumping out of my skin! Is there something wrong with me? How do I stop making myself feel so horrible!February 4, 2017 at 6:05 pm #7615ShaniParticipant
Nothing is wrong with you sweetie.
Becoming a parent is the biggest challange you will face in your life. It’s terrifying, bewildering, frustrating and totally amazing.
You are not your father, and his burdens that he carried are not yours. So many people have had shitty parents or less than ideal upbringings. All these people did not repeat their parents mistakes, instead they went above and beyond to make sure their kids had a happy and safe environment.
Cut yourself some slack, take some deep breaths and RELAX. You’re going to be a great mum, and you will love your baby fiercely once they arrive. I think it’s pretty normal to have very mixed emotions about becoming a mum, I absolutely went though some times when I thought I had made a terrible mistake. But you know what? I hadn’t, and neither have you.
I think that if being a mum has been such a big part of your hopes and dreams, then maybe you are inclined to put too much pressure on yourself to act and feel how you expected to. Just be true to yourself, accept that how you feel is pretty normal, and know that you are going to do great.
We were all first time mums once, and guess what? Our babies turned out just fine, despite our crippling anxiety and despair that we were doing it all wrong.
You’ve got this Queenie xxFebruary 8, 2017 at 7:14 pm #7619CatParticipant
You sound like I did! I had an acloholic abusive violent mother, my dad died when I was 10 from previous drug use when he was younger got hepatitis c started getting sick wen I was 9 and a half and died 6 months later, I was scared… scared I’d turn out like my mother, scared I’d get PND because she did. I was scared because. When I found out I was preg I was using drugs. I was 5 months preg when I found out. I was alone, living with a lady I hardly knew and had no money and no idea what I was going to do. And then my world stoped when I had my dating scan. There on the screen was little arms, legs, a spine a head.. she was fully formed and 5 months and growing.. I was well past terminating… I was going to be a mum. I WAS GOING TO BE A MOTHER.
And that’s it. From that day, I was no longer an ice addict I was not going to be like my mum and I was not leaving my daughter like my dad left me alone with an abusive mother.
Now I AM A MOTHER…
She’s 19 months old, I live with my fiancé (who I had had a break from for a year in the time I was using drugs and got preg which is why he left me he is not the father of my daughter) we have been together (year gap one and a half years) 10 years with the gap we have been together, we live in a lovely 2 storey pole home, have a little Chihuaua puppy have a lovely nest egg… mother hood and life is scary but being a mum is so rewarding, I strive to be the best mother I can. And I am. And you will be too! Trust yourself. You’ll be great xxx
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