Really need a friend :(

This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Boobsy LaRue Boobsy LaRue 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #7209
    Profile photo of Nicola Nicola 
    Participant

    My (now ex) partner has completely destroyed me and I really need a friend right now as I am at work crumbling.
    He dumped me out of the blue after saying that we would move in next year.
    He then spent a month telling me he loved me and just needed space.. then he said to meet up and left me hanging.. then he screamed abuse down the phone and now apparently I need to change as he has a plan for me and although he doesn’t want me to hang on for him.. he loves me and doesn’t want to move on. He won’t tell me the plan though as I could fake it.
    I am so lost.. my dad is also dying and my Gdad is terminal too.
    I don’t know how to pull myself out of this one 🙁

    • This topic was modified 2 months ago by Profile photo of Nicola Nicola.
    #7211
    Profile photo of Flo Flo 
    Participant

    Hey Nicola,
    Just hang on girl. I’m sorry about your dads. That’s very sad. I lost my father 8 years ago and I will never forget the overwhelming feelings of loss and sadness. But it’s a natural kind of sadness, if you know what I mean. It’s a healthy and pure pain and it will be okay.
    Your partner on the other hand, apparently tries to change who you are and that is NOT healthy. That is never okay. Never forget who you are and where you came from. Don’t change for anyone. If you need a friend: there are lots of friends right here. We will listen to you and see you as the queen you are.
    I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. Can’t take it away :'( But I hope things will get better for you soon.
    Love, Flo.

    #7212
    Profile photo of Nicola Nicola 
    Participant

    Thank you so much Flo, I appreciate your response so much.
    The ex has tried to make me feel bad for feeling low about the fact that my dad is bedbound and dying and I dared to ask him for support! Apparently it was selfish for me to cry to him when he didn’t live with me as he couldn’t support me and that made him feel bad… I just wanted someone to listen!
    The ex’s dad also has cancer but he didn’t tell me that he had to go back on the chemo and so now I am the bad person for not supporting him and it has just screwed with my mind. If I had known I would have been there daily.
    We were together for three years so the fact that he can remove his fb relationship status to dump me and then ignore me just crushes me.. and then once he finally gets in touch he says that I need to go on a diet (I have had an unhealthy relationship with food for a while now and he knows my struggles) and then eventually takes a month to tell me that i’ve betrayed him… he really is a waste of space but he doesn’t seem to understand how much he has broken me and how f’d up it is that he now has a plan for how I should change! Do I get to know the plan?!
    It is going to take a long while but I really appreciate the support and the kind words.
    Thank you for listening.

    Love Nic x

    #7366
    Profile photo of Boobsy LaRue Boobsy LaRue 
    Participant

    Hi Nicola,
    I feel for you Queen. Couldn’t agree with Flo more, she is a wise woman.
    When you ex says he has “a plan” for you… that just screams “controlling bastard” to me! Don’t fall for that nasty behaviour.
    Much love to you Queen.

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