Help! 6 months pregnant and hubby is threatening to leave

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of JessieRose JessieRose 5 days, 23 hours ago.

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  • #7502
    Profile photo of Bdot Bdot 
    Participant

    I’ve been married for 6 months (I got pregnant a week after the wedding) and things have slowly been falling apart since we found out I’m pregnant. I have struggled with the pregnancy, feeling anxious and over emotional. It’s been hard for me because I don’t have a lot of support – my mum died when I was young and I’m particularly missing her right now! My husband says that I’m ruining his life and that he feels trapped and that we no longer have the relationship he wants. Part of the issue (I think a major part for him) is that he wants a very adventurous sex life (ie regularly involving threesomes with other women) and I’m just not comfortable with that anymore. I want to be nesting and playing happy families and he doesn’t want a bar of it. He says that the entire issue is me and my jealousy, and my emotional issues and my lack of hobbies (I’m currently not working). I’d love to have something else to do with my time but not sure what to do, I’d love more friends but don’t know where to find them. I’m hormonal and lonely and terrified and I don’t know what to do anymore. Help!

    #7503
    Profile photo of Alex Alex 
    Participant

    I am really not sure on what to say, tho I will give it ago as I want you to know someone is here for you. having a child changes things and it should be in a good way as you all want to be together and get excited tho for a man I don’t think it really hits them until the bub is born. But I don’t understand how you could be ruining his life, you both made a commitment when you got married and your in this together, supporting each other. But I guess you both need to ask the question do you love each other.

    #7504
    Profile photo of Cat Cat 
    Participant

    I’d be out the fucking door in a heartbeat. He sounds like an arsehole. That’s just my opinion.

    #7627
    Profile photo of JessieRose JessieRose 
    Participant

    This makes me sad, why did hubby marry you? Because of your awesome sex life or because he loves you and wants to be with you forever? People get married because they want to work together through whatever life throws at them, build a life and memories together. It’s hard, marriage can be really shit.
    I just think it so sad that he is thinking that you are ruining his life because you are pregnant. Children are part of the process of most marriages at some point.
    If he is that concerned about his sex life than let him go because things only get “worse”. You can’t change someone’s mind for them, so unless he comes to realise what is truly important in life than he won’t be happy and nether will you. Is he even being faithful?
    I actually love our sex life now, my husband is so much more respectful of my body after watching me push two babies out, but he wanted those babies too.
    In regards to your social life, things change dramatically when you have children. I don’t have any pre baby friends left, life is different and it’s hard to fit in. So start going to local playgroups etc, get to know some mums, they will be your greatest support. Also have a good think about the things you enjoy doing. It’s more important now than ever before to make sure you have an identity that is separate from your children. I feel over the years I’ve forgotten who I am. I love to exercise, sew, garden and read. Do you know how much of that stuff I do? None! But this year I’m going to uni and I’m pumped, so excited, finding time for myself.
    Good luck, I hope he realises there’s more to life than sex. Look after yourself, take each day as it comes, do what’s best for you, you will be an amazing mum.

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