Had enough of life …

This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Tessa Tessa 1 week, 2 days ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #7047
    Profile photo of Lou Lou 
    Participant

    In short I’m 42 with a 15 month old, a partner who is in the military and my life is shit.
    I have no friends only people that say they are friends but aren’t there when I need them I’m 300+ miles from any family and I’m stuck 24/7 with my wee girl. I get no breaks no time just for me even nap times are spent crying about where the next food bill money is going to come from or why am I still here …
    I hate myself – from top to toe there is nothing I can say that I like about myself. In truth I suppose I wish I wasn’t here – I took an overdose when I was 19 and not a year has gone by since when I haven’t thought why didn’t I do a better job of it.
    I’m hoping I can find some kind of inner peace from you in here before I end up totally losing it

    #7049
    Profile photo of Paige Paige 
    Participant

    Hey Lou,
    Cant imagine how u r feeing but ur post made me really sad. It must be hard not feeling like you should be here. If you are having trouble please look outwards for others.
    How old is your girl?
    Where abouts are you living? I hope today is a good day for you.

    #7051
    Profile photo of ml1975 ml1975 
    Participant

    Lou. I really hope your ok. please hang in there. I felt depressed for about 4 years and knew it- i also didn’t want to do anything about it. I indulged in self hatred and having anxiety and being miserable was my normal. I had no choice but to pull my self out of it because i realised it wouldn’t go away on its own. I read a self help book and did visualisation using a CD on what i wanted my life to be like- i used this CD every time i felt anxiety and couldn’t sleep. Over time i became better and i have now got tools to help me if ever it comes back. If you want the name of the book i can tell you. Or a can even buy it for you if your keen to try something different. x

    #7060
    Profile photo of Amie Amie 
    Participant

    Hi Lou,
    Hang in there…. there is a reason you are here. Parenting a baby, especially when your partners not around (know how that feels) is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Every mother has had that thought ‘this is shit’ Where are you living? I hope today is a better day for you, and if not today then tomorrow. x

    #7082
    Profile photo of Bytheseaplease Bytheseaplease 
    Participant

    My heart breaks for you.

    Your amazing! You are doing this! And have been doing this for so long, I mean since you were 19 you have had this burden on you and you have made it this far! You are stronger than you think.
    there is no one in this world like you!
    NO ONE, you are a miracle, if you don’t believe in them then you have forgotten you are one.
    No one that looks like you, talks like you, loves like you. You are special and unique to everyone else on this planet a one off master piece!

    Your baby needs you. You are everything to that baby.

    Sorry if you don’t want advice but I’m gonna say this: Sometimes we gotta make some big changes. If the misery is at the forefront of our lives. What changes can you make? even small ones? To make things better. its hard when you are so alone and in a bad head space to make good and big decisions, but maybe some small steps.

    I have found faith to be a life saver for me.
    And I find when very low, trying to find things to be grateful for has been helpful.

    Then I found the list grew. And I could see good in more things.

    The negative thoughts are evil and hunting and hurtful and can take over. Don’t give them power they want to destroy you! SORRY if that was intense….
    but they are lies! All lies, tell those negative thoughts that creep in to eff off! You are enough, you ARE worthy, you ARE good! You are more than your money troubles and more than those thoughts. And you deserve good friends that are true friends. Hard to come by huh!

    I wish you all the best. And not to sound cliché or what ever but I will keep you in my heart and pray for your healing and recovery, and for things to start looking up for you.

    #7086
    Profile photo of Tessa Tessa 
    Participant

    LOU!
    I want you to be okay! Nobody should ever suffer alone. I know too many people that have and they gave into themselves instead of reaching out. So, good on you for saying something.

    I have a partner in the military as well and a 18month old girl. She’s the best but the worst. The military lifestyle is definitely a lonely and frustrating one. What’s stopping you from making friends if you don’t mind my asking? I have a couple of really good friends out where we stay but that’s it.

    I’m really sorry to read that you are so unhappy with yourself. I think to find that inner peace your looking for that’s the first thing we should help you with!

    I also think you should ban the word “hate” from your vocabulary. It’s such a powerful word that is so hurtful in any way it is used. (Unless your talking about food then it’s okay to hate some food)

    I am definitely not happy with my body image.. I have eczema from head to toe, scars and stretch marks. Saggy kangaroo pouch for a stomach because of my first, a saggy mum butt, thunder thighs, arm wings, redness patches on my face and big wrinkley bags under my eyes. I hope you don’t mind the rant about myself I just wanted to tell you that you aren’t the only one who feels so negatively about themselves. I am very disappointed and insecure about the way I look but I can’t hate myself because that’s means I let the ugly win and I don’t want the ugly to win.

    You ask yourself why your still here? How about asking yourself where you want to be?

    Do you exercise? What are your hobbies? What makes you happy?

    I hope I’ve said something that makes you feel a bit better or to make you think. I just couldn’t ignore your post! I hope i haven’t offended you in anyway. I really hope you are okay!!!

    Just know you aren’t the only person to ever feel this way. You have to let yourself help yourself if that makes sense.

    Lastly, your baby doesn’t know a life without you. Your her/his teacher, protector and nurture.

    If you do want to talk ever. Please reply. All my love and thoughts are with you!

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account