- November 22, 2016 at 1:23 pm #7203PamBParticipant
I made the huge mistake of moving to my husbands home town, it seemed like such a nice place until we bought a house here. We can’t afford to sell and I’m trapped here utterly miserable, I had no idea before we moved here that so much would revolve around church (I’m not Christian and have no intention of converting) and that almost every school fundraiser would involve cooking and then paying for my children to buy the food on top of that. People maildrop pamphlets saying you will go to hell if you don’t convert because no matter how good a person you are if you don’t believe in Jesus you are going to hell its crazy, I have no friends here despite living here for 8 years and I don’t know how much more I can take. My husband keeps saying I have lost my bounce but I’m not sure I can ever get it back when I am trapped here 😪November 24, 2016 at 6:37 pm #7217QueenyMcQueenParticipant
This sounds awful!! Where are you based? Is there any way of reaching out to people in real life? sounds like you need to find your tribe. I really feel for you.December 14, 2016 at 7:39 pm #7365Boobsy LaRueParticipant
Sound horrible, I’m so sorry you have ended up in this situation.
Glad to hear you have no thoughts of converting though! I was brought up Christian and it took me years to rid myself of the insidious, destructive ideology. I am not saying Christians are bad people, but I would warn anyone off joining a church.
One thing I would say is, don’t let money dictate your actions. I don’t know your full financial situation and I know these things are complicated so I would not want to tell you what to do, but I will say it’s better to be poor than miserable.
Secondly, there are probably other people who feel much the same way you do in your town – it’s just that they don’t go around proselytising. Granted, you have been there for 8 years but still… there is always the possibility you will find someone else who shares your views. If you can find someone to ha e a laugh with, it can make all the difference in the world. Perhaps they have moved to your town recently and don’t know what they’re in for!
How does your husband like it? Is he happy there? What is his attitude?
And lastly, good on you for staying true to yourself for so long, and not being swayed by so many people around you. That takes courage.
Be well Queen.December 15, 2016 at 12:38 pm #7417Young WifeyParticipant
I may not have much experience in mortgages and financial stuff but as a girl who grew up in a loving and accepting church what you are witnessing is not Christianity and it’s so painful to hear how horrible they have been treating you. I no longer go to church for my own personal reasons by my husband (who has never been) and myself have some great Christian friends who are so loving, accepting and understanding. They only asked him once on what his views are on Christianity so they knew what he thought and they wouldn’t offend him or make him feel pressured by talking about God around him. So they don’t, they go surfing, play guitar and regular guy stuff. I know this may not help your situation right now but I want you to know that not all Christians are the crazy bible-bashing type. I hate that you feel trapped in that town. If a simple no thank you I’m not interested is not deterring them then they are not respecting your boundaries and are hypocritical. My advice would be to try to get yourself into a situation where you are able to leave as your mental health and marriage are more important than money. Again like what Boobsy LaRue said good on you for not caving in and maintaining your individuality. But yes focus on trying to leave as that is not a healthy environment to be in. You’ve done so well to last for 8 years!
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