Finally hit rock bottom

This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Arabrab Arabrab 1 month ago.

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  • #7075

    This is a really hard topic for me to bring up so please be supportive as I’m having a hard time trying to understand this all myself. I’m a single mother of 2 and not too far away from having number 3. I left a bad r/ship of 6 years at the start of the year and after a rocky start I finally started to feel like things where looking up for me when I met a really nice guy who I was seeing for a few months it had not got to a commitment stage and my kids had not met him but it felt like the potential was there to one day become something more Than what it was. As careful as we where i some how fell pregnant but the guy didn’t want a bar of it and shut me out. His very slowly accepted it and We talk once every few months mostly small talk but he says he will be there for the baby but he has not been any help to this point and most of the time just pretends I don’t exist,takes days weeks sometimes to text back to a baby update if he even texts back at all . I have been struggling secretly for some time as I Dont have a supportive family or anyone around me really. 2 close gfs but they have enough of their own struggles going on without me dumping on them. I put up a great front and on the outside it looks like I have everything together but I really don’t and have hit such a Rock bottom that I’m falling apart. I have always been that person who goes through hell and comes out ok in the end and has advice for others through hard times , so talking to any one I know will be awkward as I don’t want to be judged in any way or a burden . I work almost everyday of the week in a physically demanding farming job that i really shouldn’t be doing whilst pregnant , under paid and can hardly make ends meet some weeks but push on coz I have no other choice. This pregnancy is one of those things everyone knows about it but pretends it’s not happening it’s not spoken of it’s the taboo thing. I have been judged by family and I know people talk about it and hear gossips referring to me as some kind of trollop around town as it’s not the most conventional situation to be In and in a small town people have not much else to do but gossip. I think that has what’s lead me to this point. I feel like I’m having the nervous break down that’s been a long time coming! I have defended myself for so long and I’m just tired of it and have taken everything to heart when I said it wouldn’t get me down. I’m questioning if I should even be keeping the baby for myself or should I put it up for adoption? A family who has more to offer it than I can coz right now I’m worried if il even be able to afford to feed it. I’m feeling like I haven’t got a bond with it like I had with my other children and almost built up a slight resentment over time for how this has effected everything in my life and that hurts so much. I don’t want to feel anything but pure love for the baby that no one else wants in the world but me, I have fought against every ones wishes to keep it and now I’m
    Wondering if it was the right thing? It’s not the baby’s fault at all. Has anyone ever had these sorts of feelings, is it just my hormones going crazy or maybe an under lying form of depression, or just being in such a horrible situation? I don’t know but I don’t feel comfortable brining it up at the dr yet it’s all too hard to speak about. So just looking to hear if any one else is going through stuff alone, what got your through it?

    #7084
    Profile photo of Bytheseaplease Bytheseaplease 
    Participant

    Well first of all CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy! You are doing it tough. This baby will have a beautiful chance at life because you have chosen life despite all you have come up against! IF this baby is anything like you, it will be one mighty person! Also, adoption is a real option, and as someone who has experienced years of difficult infertility, I often wish that adoption was easier in this country, and more people would keep their babies instead of terminating. There really are so many couples out there desperate to be parents, and very few babes to adopt due to the high rate of terminations in our country. Don’t despair! It would be so hard to give up your child too, I think. I mean, you obviously do love your child you just have had little support and small town peeps can be so cruel! And your working so hard. I’m sorry this bloke has taken such little interest and responsibility! He has no idea of the beauty and joy he is missing out on.

    Much love xx

    #7094
    Profile photo of Shewillrise Shewillrise 
    Participant

    I am slowly learning to put my life back together and learning to be the author of my own becoming. My journey is documented here:

    https://howtosalvagealife.wordpress.com/

    Please feel free to read, share and offer me some feedback. Thank you greatly x

    #7097
    Profile photo of Katy Hunter Katy Hunter 
    Participant

    Hi. Well I was in a very similar situation to yourself. I had my fourth baby to man who actually said he wanted the baby and then have heard nothing from him since I was 6 weeks pregnant. I got into a relationship with him after my husband died and very soon after. So, like you was judged mostly by my family who have shunned me for religious reasons.
    My baby girl is one of 4..she is the most loved little bean…makes us all smile and has been the spark of joy we all needed. It has been tough at times,there’s no doubt there. I am on my own with my four kids and know just how isolating being a single parent can be. My advice, talk to your friends. I am like you, the strong one but your friends will feel awful if they can’t be there for you when you need them. It’s a two way thing friendship. Your hormones wil be going completey nuts right now…give it time. No decisions need to be made now.
    Keep talking on here…let it all out.
    Much love

    #7166
    Profile photo of Elena Elena 
    Participant

    I never knew people still have powers and make things happen this way. My name is Elena Alexandra, my Husband Alexandra left me for another girl for three months ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love , A friend of mine Stephanie told me she saw some testimonies of this great Dr. Luke Lele Spell Temple that he can bring back my lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, She consulted the great priest on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after three days my Husband called me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for everything he made me pass through. i still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable it just too real to be real. Thank you Dr. Luke Lele for bringing back my Husband and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for anyone who might need the help of this great priest you can contact the great Herbalist and a spell caster on [email protected]

    #7442
    Profile photo of Arabrab Arabrab 
    Participant

    You are very very brave.

    I have been in a very similar situation. My baby girl is now 2. I love her so much. It took time to fall in love with her. Until recently I still felt resentment towards her. Its gone now completely although things are still often very difficult. I felt like coming to terms with being pregnant with her was like a bereavement. I grieved for the loss of the life and freedom I had. My son is 12. My financial situation had become quite strong and I was completely and independently able to look after him. That has all changed now. I take each day as it comes. I bought a second hand jogging pram and meditate while I run. That is what saves me. I check the weather the week in advance and make sure we get out when it is good. I feel judged. Being a single mother twice, but I know longer care about that. I take pleasure in the small things.

    I am just about to start trying to build a network with other single parents for mutual practical and other support. Could you do something like that? I think it is very important for you to share how you are feeling with those who care about you. This has saved me. People have been so kind to me.

    Things are often hard for me now but I creatively find ways to be kind to myself and I know that in a couple of years things will be a lot easier when my little girl is older. I am becoming stronger .

    I wish you all the best. You are very brave and people will be kind to you because what you are doing is ammazing.

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