- December 30, 2016 at 5:21 am #7483KateParticipant
Hi all this is my first post. I’m feeling lost and sad and lonely as per the title. Just want to write this down somewhere, I don’t expect a reply.
I don’t have many friends after becoming a mummy to my gorgeous boy who is now 3. I have 2 friends who I have known since I was in infant and junior school and whilst they are child free I have come to rely on them massively. We would message nearly every day and chat about anything and everything. We would support each other and make each other feel better. About 4 months ago one of my friends started a new relationship then 2 months later the other friend started a new relationship too. Both friends are all loved up and I am genuinely happy but as a result we barely talk. I still try and contact them and end up waiting days for a reply there have also been a couple of meet ups cancelled. I feel like there is a massive hole in my life. I do have a husband and I talk to him but I still need my girls. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to ruin their happiness. I just want someone to talk to most days. I’m not sure of the point of this post I just wanted to message someone and not cause any upset xxDecember 30, 2016 at 2:59 pm #7487FloParticipant
Hi Kate. You said you don’t expect a reply but I couldn’t just say nothing. You sound so lonely and that is a horrible feeling. One can be lonely even though they’re not alone. I understand you miss your friends, and your husband can’t make up for that, that’s really understandable. I hope they will come around soon, I guess they will. Their lovers are all new and they’re all indulged in it now, but in time they will realise too that you can’t spend all your time with just one man. Right? Maybe you can tell them you are lonely? Like you told us here: you want them to be happy but you miss them. Maybe they just don’t realise how much they turned away from you.
It wasn’t really my intention to give you advice, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been very lonely too and I know how it feels. It all turned out for the better, eventually. But no one should feel lonely.
Hang on and be good to yourself. I hope things will be better for you soon!
Love, Flo.December 31, 2016 at 3:45 am #7491KateParticipant
Thank you Flo. I just wanted to write down how I felt somewhere so it was out there. I’ll try and bring it up but I don’t want to burst their happy bubbles. Thanks and happy new year xJanuary 1, 2017 at 12:00 am #7499BParticipant
I don’t know if you work full time or not but if you don’t have you considered joining a playgroup? It is a great place to be able to chat to other Mums while the kids have fun playing. You can also make good friendships there with other women that have kids so can really relate to your life. I attended Playgroup when my children were little and ran playgroups for many years and so many life long friendships can be made.
I know this is not possible if you work full time but maybe even visiting the local park or library regularly you may be able to start up conversations with other Mother’s and that may lead to new friendships too.
Relationships to other women especially when you are a Mum is vital I think to getting through, and to share your experiences with. There would be lots of other women out there in the same situation too who may be longing for someone to talk to.
Good luck.January 24, 2017 at 3:36 pm #7582IvanaParticipant
I don’t live anywhere near you and can’t offer to meet up for coffee but I am here if you want to chat. I know how it feels to be lonely as I live in a foreign country and work in an industry where people often move in and out of your life. Like you I had a friend I chatted to every day but recently we grew apart due to some changes in our lives. I probably can’t be of much help from a far but if you need a friendly ear to chat I am here…sometimes it’s just nice to meet new people outside of your usual circle.
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 6 days ago by Ivana.
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