Breastfeeding unsuccessful

This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Flo Flo 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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    Profile photo of Flo Flo 

    Hi queens,
    So I’ve got these two lovely boys, 4 en 1 yo, and they’re mostly happy and healthy and I keep them alive everyday so I’m right on track. But neither of them was breastfed for long. My oldest just couldn’t drink from me, we found out his frenum of the tongue was too short but by then it was too late and he only wanted the bottle. My youngest drank just fine but my body didn’t have enough to nurture him. I lost a lot of blood during delivery and my body needed all of its energy to recover. So I brestfed him for two months (gave him formula too) and I just didn’t recover so I had to stop and take care of myself. But I felt so bad about it. So sad that it didn’t work out, twice.
    My friend has a son who turns 2 today. Proudly she puts a poem on Facebook to announce his birthday. Also proudly stating that she made the WHO norm of breastfeeding for two years. Still hurts. I know it makes no sense but it just does. I feel like a failure mom for not breastfeeding. Don’t tell me I’m wrong; I know I am wrong. My head knows but my heart hurts.
    More mom’s who couldn’t breastfeed and blame themselves for it…?
    Love, Flo.

    Profile photo of Clez Clez 

    Yep same hwre. First bub, juat didnt have any milk to give and seco d time around I was so determined…But ended up having to have a ceaser and then another operation (stomach issue) 3 days later, so recovering from 2 surgeries didnt give me much chance to produce milk…Oh and the stomach issue meant I hadn’t eaten for 2 weeks, just been stuck on a drip, so my poor body just couldn’t heal me and produce food at the same time!. I was so pissed off not to be able to feed my sons myself. Thats what we’re supposed to do right?! I’m making my peace with it, but am always a tad jealous when other Mums are happily whipping out their boobs for bubs to have a munch on. I get your sadness. Much love x

    Profile photo of Flo Flo 

    Thank you so much Clez. I’m glad to know I’m not alone in this!
    And you are right. We just have to make peace with it and move on. We’re doing fine without pulling our boobs out! ;-P
    Love, Flo.

    Profile photo of Flo Flo 

    Hope you’re feeling better now, by the way. Have you recovered after all this? I know I’m not my old self yet. My body is still recovering after 17m. Good luck!

    Profile photo of Boobsy LaRue Boobsy LaRue 

    Hi Flo,
    You are a wonderful mum who’s doing a great job.
    There is a lot of pressure around breastfeeding. It’s a difficult task and it doesn’t work for everyone.
    I think there is a lot of anxiety around breastfeeding, and sometimes we need to step back and see the bigger picture. Like, yes we all know breast is best, but what about the rest of life? What about the health of the whole family, mum included? What about everone’s mental health, too? What about those mums who simply have to go back to work – being able to breastfeed isn’t much comfort if you don’t have a roof over your head. And what about those who, like yourself, had a difficult delivery and have their plate full just trying to recover to the point where they can function day to day?
    Breastfeeding is just one part of a bigger picture. Overall you just need you and your kids to be happy and healthy and you get there in your own way, the best way you can.

    Profile photo of Flo Flo 

    Thank you Boobsy LaRue, that’s very sweet :’)

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