Am I making a mistake???

This topic contains 8 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Marsha mom1st Marsha mom1st 11 hours ago.

  • Author
  • #6286
    Profile photo of Janis Janis 

    I posted this in pregnancy but it’s not very active so thought I’d try here. My partner and I live in rented accommodation and we sublet the spare room. We both work full time however with rent, bills and a loan we’re trying to pay off, we have zero savings so are nowhere even near owning our own home. I’m almost 33, he’s 30, and we’ve decided to try for a baby. We figure I’m not getting any younger and it’s now or never to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I AM SO FUCKING SCARED! Is this a mistake? We’ll have to kick out our lodger which will mean less income. I’m entitled to maternity pay which is a relief but Christ, are we crazy??? I’m sometimes excited and sometimes I want to just cry with worry and fear. My partner is so excited and confident that this is right for us…but do men comprehend the hard work that goes into raising kids? WHAT AM I DOING??? Did anyone else feel like this?

    Profile photo of Marymacster Marymacster 

    One word….. NO!!!! There is no “right time” to have a baby and as my dad says “if money is your only worry you have no worries at all” do it! Enjoy it! And relaX!! 🙂

    Profile photo of Sophie Sophie 

    It’s not a mistake if you have alot of love to give that child. I know you need to think of the practical side of things too like affording to look after a baby but i believe you will make it work. I am someone who worries a little too much about finances and it took a while before i convinced myself that my partner and i will be ok. I was scared too. We had no savings and were renting as well. We have a good support network with aunties and uncles and grandparents to our boy though so they help out too when they can. Try not to worry to much and it’s a good thing that your partner is excited and confident and this is also why i believe you guys will make it work.

    Profile photo of Kirsty Lee Kirsty Lee 

    Absolutely is there never a “right time”. You can spend your whole life trying to make things perfect but things change hun. You can try have the healthiest, happiest, stress free pregnancy known to man and things can happen. This is why I never wrote birth plans. Nothing goes to plan! I will say that once that beautiful baby kicks you for the first time, or you feel it move you will relax. There is nothing more amazing than feeling a growing life inside you. Are there shitty times as a parent? Oh god absolutely. Its not all peaches and flowers! But for the most part, you have a beautiful human that you have created that loves you unconditionally. And it will work out. Just try to relax and go with it a little bit. My biggest bit of advice as a mumma is sometimes you just have to let go of the control a bit 🙂

    Profile photo of Pink blossom Pink blossom 

    You will do great Janis. I’m hoping to be pregnant soon and I’m around your age. I feel like you do so very much and get very anxious about it but what these ladies have wrote is spot on there’s never a right time and you just make do. Thank god for this amazing forum so much support and love. I always get told once you hold that little darling in your arms you feel on top of the world. Just trust yourself and your abilities in every aspect (wish I could trust myself as I write this ha ha) . Cant wait for the day I am holding a little bubba in my arms and knowing I’m the mummy and having that big grin on my face thinking look how clever I am look at the little darling I made with my man. If its any help as well I know some lawyers who got pregnant and they all told me they were like this just like you so it seems it doesnt matter if you got money in the bank or not we all must freak out a wee bit. So much love and luck to you and your family xxx

    Profile photo of HRHDeanaK HRHDeanaK 

    I had my babies at 23,25 and 38 — and at 45 I know this to be absolutely true: there is no “right” or “good” time to have a baby. Fuck owning a home; fuck waiting for that “financial stability” that never seems to stick around for long – money comes and goes like the tides. Do it, live, be happy and Have That Baby!! ❤️

    Profile photo of kayvee kayvee 

    If you wait for the “right time” you’ll never had a kid. Even when you think you’re ready and have savings and have actively been trying, it happens and you think “Fuck! I’m not ready for this!” Jump in the deep end – you won’t regret it. x

    Profile photo of Katy Hunter Katy Hunter 

    Life is too short, believe me I know. My husband and I would never have had our kids if we waited until we were financially “sorted”. We had three and then sadly my husband died. I am so greatful we had them. Yes I am on my own bringing them up….at times it is fucking tough! And HELL no am I financially ” sorted” now. But I have three wonderful kids and wouldn’t have it any other way!
    Good luck!

    Profile photo of Marsha mom1st Marsha mom1st 

    Hi, just wanted to let you know you never know what it turns out. I thought i had it all figured out. Then got sick during precnancy, lost my business, got in serious depth, foodstamps and all. Had days i went to the grocerystore with less then 3€. Not knowing when there would be any money again. See also my other posts. My son is loved, he never suffered from any of this. Im building it all up again. However my relationship didn’t survive so im a single mom now. If i had to choose to becomming a mom or winning the lotery i would have chosen my little man, because he is the biggest prize for me. All you need, thos from experience is: LOVE, food, a roof over your head, electricity/heat. Thats it, the rest is bonus. Diapers are great but there are also washables if needed. I breastfed so saved on formula (but that doesn’t work for everyone). And your child doesn’t know if he gets secondhand clothing/toys. In the beginning the baby sleeps in your room. At least a year is recommended. Can you gave the other room rented out still and have the baby sleep with you? Or maybe do some work at the house to make it work with baby and room for rent? Hope it all works out for you both! Good luck!

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account