- November 6, 2016 at 12:45 pm #7095EviemayParticipant
This is going to be long so i apoligise in advance! 🙂
In as much of a nutshell version as i can give here goes;
I went to the local playcentre for the last few years (think super small community) with a young mum, she is early 20s and has a 5yr old,3yr old and a baby. Ever since i have been going she has been a huge part of keeping it open,running meetings,opening it,cleaning it,buying things,paper work and so much more, pretty much running it all even when pregnant and after her babies have been born. fast forward to a few months ago and a email is sent around accusing her of epic fraud of the place, her oldest girl that had just started schoo is being bullied, her best friend (this women and her were like glued to each others hip!) drops out of her life and more importantly her childrens (she told only this ‘best friend’ about her third pregnancy and no one else until literally weeks before the baby was born,her children thought of this women as a second mother,spent everyday having some form of face ot face contact to try give some context of how close they were) no one will talk to her, this whole supposed great community is talking about her behind her back, emails,texts,facebook posts,awful things said to her in public places sort of stuff. I watched her turn into this huge heart of the community into the target of much much older womens (think no one her age all late 30s-40s) they froze her children out,encouraged their own children to ingore her children, would all ingore her and sit behind her and talk at the school pick up times, went to the principal and asked their children to be kept away from her child. she moved her daughter to a different school, and her 3yr old to a new kindy.but still she is getting awful bullying going on. now to give some context to the fraud-i have seen the cheques, they are being waved round by supposed ‘upstanding memebers of the community’ and ive also seen the paperwork from police etc, now to add a extra layer to this her partner is much older, has a criminal history bigger than the freaking bible and is awful to her to say the least, before all this happened lots of these mums inculding myself had seen bruises, heard her older two children say things like ‘punch you in the face like dad does to mun’ the list goes on but im trying to not write a novel! pretty much it comes down to these cheques she are meant to have taken are written out to him! the same guy who never let her have money when the kids needed things, never wanted to share a bank acocout and most importantly in front of people one day at the playcentre told her ‘she would never be allowed to touch his money’ now i dont mind admitting that at first i did think he had somehow done it and she was taking the fall and now it seems to be that that may be the case after all. but no one wants to hear it, they need to blame her as now its the new way they are getting their centre out there in the public eye!!
Now that i have probably bored you with that messy background i come to the real point and the advice i need,
I know this mum is being hurt by her partner, ive heard people speculate that she is possibly going back to ‘old ways’ and hurting herself but i have heard so many awful things said about her im not to sure on this, i also know her children and looking and most likely also feeling sad and lonely i have heard them lots asking to go see ‘their friends’ or more heartbreaking say to her ‘why isnt she your friend anymore mum’ and watch this young women try not to cry in the local supermarket,the school and kindy where she is picking them up. At the end of the day i really dont care about if she did or didnt take money (to be clear im pretty sure she didnt) im concerned for her, for her mental health, for her children and how they are suffering and being isolated from their friends and the people that have been so intergral in their lives from literally the day they were born. I want to ask her if she is ok, offer her someone to talk to. but i dont know if im the right person or even if i am the right person, i feel like she needs a community hug, a place to know that people arnt going to isolate her and her children,where she is ok to be and that people will talk to her and not be awful. but i dont really know how to start. So i guess im saying, advice please? what would you do? how would you reach out to her? should i drop chocolate and a note in her letterbox or should i try talk to her?! please help!November 6, 2016 at 3:48 pm #7096Kay – MarieParticipant
Oh my goodness, I would definety reach out to her, nxt time u see her in the supermarket or anywhere, just ask her If needs a chat coffee etc n yes do the chockie thing n all, with s card saying u are not all the same. If she needs to talk go for a brew n be the queen 👑 of all queens. Point her to this group as well. She deffo needs a friend wether she thinks so or not.November 17, 2016 at 10:37 pm #7168ElenaParticipant
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