The Tales Of The Great Vagina Dress

Chrissy Teigan. And her dress.


I love a good fanny slip.

Possibly coz I’m a nudist and I love women, possibly coz I’m a bit pervy and am always interested in fanny fashion.

So I’m going to say it, I wasn’t one of those deeply offended chicks when Chrissy Teigan popped a flap last week at the AMA awards.

You wanna hear something funny? When my husband and I first got together (back when we used to have fun) we got drunk one night and I drew 2 huge eyes on a piece of cardboard, cut them out and stuck them on the pubes above his dick, it was seriously then funniest thing we had ever seen, it made his knob look like a nose, his pubes were eyebrows, like you would cry laughing if I showed you the picture. We sent a photo to all of our close friends and they called immediately laughing hysterically.

One night while reminiscing the incident I told my friends that we should do it again, this time using my vagina….. Silence……

Everyone stopped laughing and one of our friends said, “TOO FAR CON!!!!”

What? We send each other dick pics…. we are besties and joke about everything. What about my fanny is too far?

My cousin shows his bum crack every time he bends over, pretty much the whole thing hangs out.

I was bush walking with my friend and her husband recently and he stopped for a wee, he barely turned around so immersed in the conversation and I definitely copped an eye full of side dick.

We joke about men wanking, men getting stiffies, yet we barely acknowledge that chicks don’t mind a little clit tickle and often crack a slippery when we’re turned on or ovulating or just feel like a damn good rogering. Shhhhh we better not talk about that….
Men appear to have more rights to their own bodies then women do. I could write a book and call it “The casually loveable penis and his mysteriously aloof friend”

I have 2 sons and 2 daughters, I’ve noticed a vast difference in the way that our own family treats their nudity. Boys are harmless, entitled to cruise around the house in the nud after a bath while everyone chases the girls around with their undies shoving them on as quickly as possible.

People in general are less comfortable with females nudity then mens.

Im not saying that everyone would have been cool with a penis flop on the catwalk, clearly folks would have been up in arms over that too. What Im saying is…. did anyone die? Did womens wages instantly decline? Did anyone feel like they had the right to grab it after they saw it? No, in fact, the biggest effect her fanny had on the world was a bit of global minge trim motivation, all thanks to Chrissy.

You see my fanny, like Chrissy’s pops out all the time. My husband refers to it as a “Flap attack” when one of my flaps pops out the side of my undies and I’m sitting on the couch crossed legged, he points and chants the word ‘flaaaaaap attack’

I laugh, I don’t see the vulva as a sacred or dirty or serious or even that mysterious. Its just another piece of skin, with a pretty vertical smile, some are hairy and some are bald, some are tanned and some are pale, some (like mine) carry a little bit of extra chub to keep themselves warm in winter.

Some happen to sit on top of 2 long legs and pop out to say hi at award ceremonies.
Is that anti-feminism? Is that a step back for womankind? God no.

Lighten up world, its a fanny not a nuclear bomb. And when they aren’t being violated or disrespected I’d like to see more of them.

But I’m a nudist. And I love women.

Con xxxx

Liked this post? Then you GOTTA read the book. Buy Like a Queen here– now shipped worldwide!

  1. Profile photo of Happy potter
    Happy potter 3 months ago

    Well said Con, absolutely spot on!

  2. Profile photo of CallMeLE
    CallMeLE 3 months ago

    I understand completely. I myself hold very little body shyness. I share your belief that it is all just skin in the end and can’t get behind being meek about it simply because it is how “women are supposed to be”. And that it is “not proper”.

    One of my biggest arguments to date stems from my choice of leasure clothes. I hate pants when I am relaxing. Even the most comfortable pants just feel wildly constricting. So I tend to favor sleep and resting in just undies and a t-shirt. But I can’t due it often due to often being fussed at for it, especially if there is a man in the house.

    What confuses me is that, why is this such a big deal when there is zero problems of me wearing a bikini? Heck walk around in just a bra and undies, and suddenly I am revealing too much? Yet if instead of bras and undies it is a bikini it is completely fine? Both have equal opportunity to show something, to slip and reveal a bit of nip or clit. Yet so long as you paint fancy names over it or give it a strict purpose it is fine.

    I’ve seen men peel off their clothes and swim in their underwear? Is there a care? Nope. Yet I bet if I decided to peel off my clothes and swim in a bra and undies it would be like the start of the apocalypse.

    I can understand modesty, I really can. And there is a time and a place for all things. But I sincerely believe that time and place should be completely dependent on the mood or theme of the location, not whether your happy bits dangle or not.

  3. Profile photo of Hailey83
    Hailey83 3 months ago

    Honestly i think we need to see vaginas in all their glory. Wether they be a massive bush or waxed smooth or anywhere in between. Us queens must take a stance now so we can teach the next generation that ‘normal’ comes in a lot of variations.
    Unfortunately for me the way i learned about ‘acceptable’ vaginas was from my judgemental and stupid older sister. And because of her and my need to make men happy, i perpetuated the idea of a smooth shaved pussy. Constantly dreading being told by a man that my cunt was hairy or i needed to shave or anything really.
    I learned about big flaps cause my sister has a ‘swollen’ pussy… WTF!!!
    All the bullshit that we go through just to make men happy, to be bald and small and tight etc…
    Now is the time for us queens to acknowledge that vaginas are all different and only a king who accepts us as who we are is worthy of our cunts!!

  4. Profile photo of Tawnee Rideout
    Tawnee Rideout 2 months ago

    Well said my fellow queens, every one said it all. i am the same as con i love women and i am a nudist. and i have kids and they are growing up around parents who dont mind about they way they look and its not stereotypical bullshit that you see in magazines and tv.

  5. Profile photo of Megga
    Megga 2 months ago

    Yes its like men are heroes when they run around with their peniss on show like brave warriors but god forbide women flash their bits society thinks its rude or not right but hopefully soon the inequalities are changing but will take a while before its socially accepted if you know what i mean till then teach our girls that we are as strong and smart as any man will ever be and ne proud and free with our bodies as we want to.

Leave a reply

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account