Wedding Appropriate

On Sunday at 3.14pm a Facebook page for a New Zealand radio station The Breeze Waikiki shared this picture


and captioned asking the audience if it was ‘wedding appropriate’ attire.

The post went on to explain that the Queen, (who remained anonymous but is a friend of the writer of the original post) in the picture was at a wedding on the previous weekend where she was allegedly met with quite a bit of bullying.

She claims to have been treated rudely by other women and targeted for wearing this dress,
“a women came up from behind and slapped her on the bum and claimed it was a dare from a group of other women who were watching and snickering. Someone else seemingly purposely spilt beer on her.”

The post was concluded with “Ok but wait, she wants to know, did she bring any of this on herself by wearing this to the wedding…..?”

I thought Id take the time to answer that question my self.

With a Big. Fat. NO.

No my dear sexy tight dress Queen you did not.

In fact looking back on my wedding I am disappointed that I didn’t write on the invitations, “Please flaunt it, flaunt your body, whether it be rolls or muscles, skinnyminnies and magnificent curves, tall ones, short ones, round ones straight ones, I want a selection. Id like to see them all flaunted.
I especially like what you wore to this wedding because it oozes pride and fuck, you should be SOOOOO proud, that bod of yours looks very well worked out, you don’t roll out of bed, land on your Maccas left overs, peel them off your thigh and shove them in your gob to get a bod like this, this is dedication.

I am dedicated too, I had kids, I LOOOOVE chocolate, people recovering from car accidents and strokes are better runners then me, its true, I have seen them at the gym, their OTs and them laugh at me. Its cool, I actually only go to the gym to get away from my kids, sometimes I hide in the change rooms eating biscuits, on my iPhone while the kids are at the creche, heaven.

Sorry sexy lady in the tight dress at the wedding, Im getting sidetracked. I saw a lot of comments saying that you were trying to out do the bride at the wedding…. I don’t know if any of these commenters have ever been a bride, especially considering a lot of them were middle aged men, fuck stranger things have happened.
But from my experience, being a bride is the one day where you couldn’t give a flying fuck what your friends are wearing, you are too wrapped up in the glory that is you, you try and be polite, kind and considerate, but in your heads its all “me me me me me me, Im glorious, Im amazing, look at my spray tan, me me me, I love my hair, don’t touch me Im fabulous, me me me, who am I marrying again? me me me Oh there the lucky fucker is. Me me me me me me”

To think that a bride would waste her breath being jealous is an insult to the self indulgent total legendary, no fucks diva that is the modern day bride. Do not worry about out doing a bride, you never will!!!!!!

But sexy Lady in the tight dress, now that we are talking Id really like to tell you something that is much more serious then a glorious bride being amazing on her wedding day..

The only thing that was inappropriate at this wedding that you went to on the weekend was the way YOU were treated.

In fact, inappropriate isn’t the word. That was utterly disgusting. Nobody has the right to laugh at you, spill drinks on you or slap your sexy bitch arse. Ever.
Is it ok to bully a Queen because you think she is dressed inappropriately? No

Is it ok to bully a Queen because you are jealous of her? No.

So when is it ok to bully a Queen? Never Arseholes.

You keep on Queening on my sexy friend, if I ever get married again (No offence Bill) Im finding you, inviting you and getting you an elephant to ride in on. Pride in ones self should be celebrated, you should be celebrated.

Love Con

you can read the original post here xxx


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  1. Profile photo of Erin Woolerton
    Erin Woolerton 8 months ago

    Wish I could squeeze into that dress and rock it!!

  2. Profile photo of heidi
    heidi 8 months ago

    The fact that this is even on the radio is disturbing to me as a feminist ( aka queenie :P) but unsurprising.

    As an Aussie living in NZ, Ive noticed a definite difference regarding exposing ones body as an Australian compared to New Zealander.

    I had a lecturer last year in a therapy post grad course (a NZ male who at 50 recently moved to Oz) tell his female (australian) students ( in australia) that they needed to cover up to be professional because their skimpy clothes were distracting for their teenage clients ( social work), I arched up and challenged him ( because Im a femisint aussie woman aka queenie :p), and as we unpacked I realised that there were cultural differences here.

    I think between the colder climate and people being covered up to stay warm for one long winter Its like game of thrones here (unless youre a dairy farmer who’s known to wear insubordinately short shorts in winter) and the differing mix of cultural values is responsible for this attitude in NZ. Between a colder climate and a strong conservative protestant colonisation process and an influx of christian (colonised) pasifika cultural influence, there is a correlation between conservatism and respectability.

    But what most disturbs me about this post is the way that her head is chopped off her body and we’re discussing her like a goddamn anonymous headless mannequin. Now I realised apparently she wondered whether she brought it on herself, and NO! of course not, Constance youre so right, UTTER BULLSHIT!!!!! People can be patriarchally judgmentally mean, but when I read about the way her body was treated, being slapped on the arse, and drinks spilt, I couldnt help but be struck by the similarity in which her body was objectified at the wedding and the way we are talking about her headless ( personalityless) body now.

    I love Constance’s point about the me me me narcissistic tendency of brides ( Ive been a wedding photographer) the jealousy is rife- most often in the wedding parties themselves…..we all buy into the love jealous and sex jealous scenario that keeps us queens separate. Separate from each other, separate from our bodies, separate from our real natures, we all want to love and be loved, we all want to be sexually attractive and fulfilled.

    Im glad Waikato radio posted this BS post to discuss a womans body as if it were separate from those necessary and basic desires, glad you replied Constance. Because the truth is, loving ourselves and being sexually attractive at large are most often contradictory experiences that can be traumatic and painful, especially during motherhood because our cultures definition of sex and motherhood is so fucked up and generally not aligned.

    Whether youre viewed as ugly or a slut, either way youre a threat to the cultural power that demands us to be sexually available or unavailable turns out are kindve the same.

    And how does sexual availability make us love ourselves unless were loving who were sexually available too? And how can we love those who are sexually but be liberated by their unconditional love?

    Thanks Queenie, love your writing. x

  3. Profile photo of Katie
    Katie 8 months ago

    Not that she doesn’t look fabulous but depending in the couple that are getting married and what they would deem appropriate is the first thing to think about. Like for me i bekeive that a wedding if a formal occasion and therefore your dress should be at least knee length. But the tight fitting, bust showing is fine it not about length for me . x

  4. Profile photo of Tammy R.
    Tammy R. 7 months ago

    The problem is we as women should be lifting one another up not bashing or trampling. If you’ve got it flaunt it. I’d be extremely proud of her if she was one from my tribe. I’m just saying she’s obviously worked out and is proud as hell, I’d be proud too. Nothing but love for everyone no matter who and where they are in their path. I know exactly what it’s like to be shamed for being healthy, unhealthy, thin, chubby, a woman, a mother, etc. It’s just not easy being a human at all these days seems like everyone’s quick to say something. My something is just to be positive and find the beauty in it all.

  5. Profile photo of stevie
    stevie 7 months ago

    I would love to look like that and would never say that she was trying to upstage the bride,, you should be able to wear what you want, no one has the right to tell you otherwise,,, take no notice of them you are stunning girl… keep your head held high and be proud of yourself, xxx

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