I’ve never had a good relationship with teachers, when I was a kid I thought the teachers were arseholes


and when I was a teenager they barely knew who I was due to my reports with a high achieving score on ‘days absent.’

So when my eldest child started school, I avoided teachers like the plague, knowing that not only am I now being judged on my own behaviour but also on my children’s.

And we all know my kids aren’t the best behaved kids…

One of my kids teaches her mate the word fuck, the other clever little bastard learnt how to spell fuck, one of my kids decided it was Pants Off Friday and I only learnt on her return home that she didn’t feel the need to wear undies that day. When you go to a teacher to try to explain to her that you didn’t know your kid wasn’t wearing undies the day before and that you do not condone fanny flashing in any way, shape or form, expect to be met with a really comfortable not-awkward-at-all silence…
And now Arlo is reverting back to his daycare days and screaming his head off when I leave him at kindy…

And all I can think of is the judgments, ‘Yep….. they are always late, Yep…… the mums never wearing shoes…. Yep I heard the mum swearing on the phone the other day…… Yep I heard they had major marriage problems’…. and now I imagine… ‘Yep… no wonder the kid has separation anxiety… she’s always on Facebook..’

So last week when Arlo’s tantrum ripped my heart out, stomped on it and left me with the biggest anxiety attack of my life, all I wanted to do is scoop him back up and chuck him in the car and flick the bird to everyone and all of their judgments. Only I knew that he needed me to make a Mum decision and do the right thing..I had no idea what the right thing to do was, my heart says, ‘pick him up, drive him to a drive through, get him a burger, take him to Toy World for a shop until you drop session and then bring him home to stroke his ginger locks’.. but my head was all ‘Be Strong woman.. you are trying to not raise an ARSE’.. So I turned to the teacher… And I asked her, ‘what the hell should I do?’

Now most sane people would strive to be as far away as humanly possible from said screaming exorcism needing 4 year old.. and demand I chuck him in the car and bring him back when he’s behaving reasonably. But not this teacher, this teacher looked at me with the kindest of all eyes and said ‘Constance, he will be just fine, I promise. You go and I will call you if he doesn’t settle’ so out I walked, confident that my boy is in her warm hands but still heart achingly anxious. Only, before I got to the car she was outside behind me,

‘Just letting you know that Arlo has already calmed down and he’s doing a puzzle and he’s just beautiful, have a good day Constance, he’s fine.’

I nearly cried.

Determined to get to learn more of this heavenly creature I have since got to know her better and while chatting about the crazy things these kids say she said to me,

‘Oh I just think I am so lucky, most peoples work colleagues are adults or the same age as them, my colleagues are these 4 year olds and they really the funniest and most beautiful little people to spend your days with.’

That day when I picked my daughter up (fully dressed thank you very much) I asked her how if she likes her teacher and she responded ‘yep… she’s always nice. And when we get in trouble she doesn’t yell at us, she joke yells so we know that we were naughty but we are too busy laughing to be scared..’

Joke yells???? I fucking LOVE that.

So there you have it…. my relationship with teachers is changing. My beautiful experiences as a mother with her kids at school far outweigh my shit ones as a kid.

Love Con xxx

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  1. Profile photo of spark
    spark 8 months ago

    Thank you for writing this. I hated school as a child, hated it as a teenager and as an adult…I became a teacher. I know my friends still get a giggle when I say how “school” was that day. I love working with students and now having small kids, I am even more passionate (if possible) about being a good teacher and helping the teenagers I work with feel good about school and themselves. There are lots of teachers out there like your kids’ teachers and I am so glad your kids are experiencing them. xxxx

  2. Profile photo of Claire McLean
    Claire McLean 8 months ago

    I am a teacher and I fake yell too and I have been known to fake a tantrum 😂 I hated school too buy I made it through by the love and kindness shown by a few teachers so I was determined to become one. You are doing a great job constance and I’m sure any teacher worth their salt will see that. X

  3. Profile photo of Stacey
    Stacey 8 months ago

    I always love your posts. The truth and realism is refreshing in a world of lies. Your perspective on the world and life amuses me and makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I’m glad your child a great caring teacher, so does my hurricane child but he’s 2.5yrs and pushes the bloody boundaries so much and makes the daycare make new rules haha … I have the kid that all the other kids know and so do all the teachers and office staff. But he makes me laugh so much so it’s all worth but bloody hell some days argh..

  4. Profile photo of Linda on the Go
    Linda on the Go 8 months ago

    what classic … I would to see a teacher do her “fake yelling”! I sometimes do a fake “roar like a bear” when I am am truly about to lose my shit with the kids. It makes us all laugh but they also know it is a cue for “mum is really close to losing it … maybe we should behave now”
    so glad to hear you have some teachers in your world doing beautiful things with/for your kids 🙂

  5. Profile photo of Squeekums
    Squeekums 8 months ago

    I was the same with teachers at school, hated them, they hated me
    Was terrified of miss 6 starting for same reasons but damn teachers are so mcuh better these days

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