Tragedy in the News

Last week a Sydney mother took her own life and that of her 2 year old son, jumping off a cliff at a popular Sydney Beach.

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It has since been announced that she was a victim of domestic violence.

Reading this I was instantly reminded of a case that I had read about from the UK must have been 5 or 6 years ago.

An English couple jumped off a cliff with their little 5 year old boy in a rucksack.

How horrific, what kind of parents would do something like this? The story was shared on Facebook many times, which is how it grabbed my attention. Of course I cried and judged the monsters who were supposed to protect their baby instead ended his short life.

The following day the story had progressed and further information was reported.



It became apparent that the couple who “murdered” their child in a joint murder suicide were actually grieving parents who’s little boy was terminally ill and discharged from hospital to go home and die peacefully surrounded by love and comfort. He died at 8pm that very night.
That was Friday, the three bodies were found at the bottom of the cliff on Sunday.
My heart still breaks for the grieving couple who obviously saw no possibility in ever moving past the pain, a couple who friends claimed did 150% for their little boy.

I think of this couple often, the main reason being that I am constantly reminded of the hate that the Internet inspires.
When the story was poorly reported on in the first days of their bodies being discovered the loathing comments of hate and disgust were pouring in,
“rot in hell you murdering pieces of shit”
Directed at that lovely couple for their family and friends to choke on.
Of course the comments were a different story the following day but not once did any of them read “I am so sorry for the hate I judged you with yesterday”

So now while I am horrified that a women has killed her own son, because we can all agree that it is an unfathomable act, one that we of sound mind can simply not fathom, I think twice before voicing my anger. I would prefer to honour that little boy by instead of reverting to an instinctual witch hunt of hate towards his mother, allow it to provoke me to learn more about PTSD and the ongoing effects of domestic violence.

Because we don’t know all of the details, stories change and truths are hidden, however we do know that spreading a message of hate won’t prevent it from happening again, but educating ourselves on mental illness and domestic violence might.

RIP.

12 Comments
  1. Profile photo of Kate
    Kate 11 months ago

    As a mum, one who has suffered from both depression and an abusive relationship, I can feel only absolute sorrow for a woman who may have felt so hideously alone that she felt she had to take not only her own life but that of her young child. I remember well driving along a motorway many years ago, wondering albeit fleetingly how it would feel to drive into the bridge supports. To end what had become a miserable, endless battle of an abused existence. A battle that was being waged all around me by my then boyfriend. OUR abuser. I wasn’t strong enough to save us anymore so it was going to be easier to end things wasn’t it?
    I look back now and thank god that I had a rear view mirror… I just remember looking into that mirror and seeing my daughters freckled face look up at me. My daughter saved me that day, even though she didn’t know it she saved us both.
    We were lucky. I wish that this poor woman had been lucky too. So very very tragic. X

    • Profile photo of Jenna
      Jenna 11 months ago

      I have just registered so I can reply to your comment as it’s really touched me.
      Thank you sharing this, it really made me whell up. You’re so brave to make that decision to keep facing the hardships you were dealing with. You’re a wonderful mother & should be so proud of yourself ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

  2. Profile photo of QueenMother
    QueenMother 11 months ago

    I found it so sad that she was in such a very bad place that she felt there was no-one for her to turn to. ๐Ÿ™

  3. Profile photo of Joanne
    Joanne 11 months ago

    So very beautiful Constance. Compassion is everything โค๏ธ

  4. Profile photo of Catherine
    Catherine 11 months ago

    Well said. We are quick to judge and slow to apologize, when it should be the reverse. Thank you for speaking loud and strong in support!
    God Bless this young Mother and her Child and all other that may feel lost.

  5. Profile photo of Ann Marie
    Ann Marie 11 months ago

    Such a terrible tragedy. I suffered from post natal depression after my son was born last November and felt suicidal at times. My mother said I was a terribly coliky baby and that when I was born she could understand how there were cases of battered babies. Being a new mum is so much more difficult than we are lead to believe and I think a combination of a contrary baby and PND could definitely drive a vulnerable new mother to take not only her own life but the life of her child.

    Although the internet can be full of hatred and negativity, I am delighted to have found Constance’s blog which is a source of both inspiration and comfort. Its amazing to have found such a support network online and I urge any mum who may be suffering from PND to talk to their family, fellow queens and doctor about it. I went on medication for it and it has helped no end. Unfortunately there can still be a stigma attached to taking antidepressents, but please, please keep an open mind and speak to your doctor. One small tablet, taken just like the pill can make a world of a difference. I am now enjoying being a mother and feel so much more connected to my beautiful baby and the suicidal thoughts have disappeared. There is support available to us all. Thank you Constance and Kate for sharing stories and feelings xxx

  6. Profile photo of Queen flea
    Queen flea 11 months ago

    when I hear these stories, as much as my heart aches for the children, it aches just as much for the parent that decided that was the only way out.
    I CAN fathom parents taking their children’s lives with their own. I’m not saying that I agree with it, but I TOTALLY understand the thought process that goes with it.
    Without being judged by any other queens, but murder/suicide has crossed my mind multiple times in the past. I am so greatful that I am stronger than my mental health disorder that I have not taken that option.
    I can hear all of you asking…. HOW, WHY? And abusing me….. But hear my story……
    After being a child victim of sexual abuse and living on the streets, I unfortunately had children with a sexual predator. (Which I learnt a little too late) and he sexually abused my baby girls (one of which was his biological daughter) once our worlds were torn apart by this I struggled with parenting. I felt like a failure as I couldn’t protect my girls from what had happened. I became suicidal again, but the first thing that crossed my mind was “who will look after my babies??”
    Guess what!?!? NOONE could look after my babies. If I couldn’t protect them from their own father how was I supposed to trust anyone else to look after them? That’s when the thought first crossed my mind that they had to come with me.
    Thankfully I am still here and I have grown stronger and have become the best god damn mother that life will allow me to be. And all of my four beautiful babies are still with me and flourishing. But I could GUARENTEE that if I did take my life and leave my children behind, NOONE could give them the life I could. NOONE could give them the unconditional love that I could. NOONE could help them succeed in life and become the greatness of our future! So WHY would I want to leave them behind? WHY would I want them to live a life full of pain and turmoil if I couldn’t do it myself?
    Those are only some of the thoughts that would run through my head at times.
    THESE ARE MY REASONS FOR NEVER JUDGING A QUEEN WHO HAS STRUGGLED AND TAKEN THEIR BABY WITH THEM. there is always a reason but people are always too quick to judge and hurt people more instead of asking questions and seeing what can be done to make things easier or nicer in a persons life.
    Whatever that mothers reason was, I am certain she did not take it lightly when making the decision and was only making what she thought was the best decision for her and her child at the time!
    Thank you Constance for sharing your view and enabling women like myself to speak up without judgement

  7. Profile photo of Ann Marie
    Ann Marie 11 months ago

    Much love to Queen flea you are a strong, beautiful woman and a mother beyond compare xxx

  8. Profile photo of Bianca
    Bianca 11 months ago

    Queen flea…You have written that amazingly, how touching, how realistic! Good on you for being such an inspirational queen, pure strength right there xo

  9. Profile photo of Natalie <3
    Natalie <3 11 months ago

    As a woman who has suffered both PND/PNA and domestic violence (at different points in my life) I feel no anger to these people just incredible sorrow. I cannot imagine the devastation of your child being terminally ill, I don’t think I could cope with that…my children are my heart.
    As for the woman this week we don’t know what desperation she felt, she clearly thought it was the only way out to save her and her child. All I can hope is that they are now at peace and try to do my bit to improve the world we live in so that less people find themselves in such a horrific place x

  10. […] kudos for the way he responded to a โ€œfat memeโ€ directed at him recently and so he should. MoreTragedy in the News March 29, 2016Last week a Sydney mother took her own life and that of her 2 year old son, jumping […]

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