Just Another Day in the Life of a Queen

There are good days and fucked ones, today had pieces of both.


Today was the first day that I had the twins back in daycare, I had taken them out for 6 months because Rumi’s immune system just didn’t seem to take it, he basically picks up every bug within a kilometre radius. Now I feel that he is ready, strong, my little He-Man.

I took the kids to School, Billie-Violet ran to class, Arlo sat down in his kindy room. I watched him writing his little name, tongue out in concentration, I pondered for a second the shit I’ve been reading lately from the Politically correct Parenting Police the “PPP” ( I just made that up! #legend), apparently now we aren’t even supposed to kiss our kids on the lips, all of these beautiful little kids sitting around us, all of their mums watching them lovingly, who the fuck are the PPP to tell these beautiful Queens how to love their kids – the world’s gone mad. I couldn’t give two fucks what the PPP say, as I give Arlo a full lipped huge kiss on his delicious little lips, he appreciates the closeness and leave him for the day.

I drop the twins off, don’t look back, no tears I’m skipping out the door. Thank fuck for some space.

Straight home, straight passed all of my house work (no way in hell I’m wasting my first child free day cleaning) and straight back to bed.

Bill hasn’t left yet, he had some paper work to do before he left. He watches me climb back into bed and surely thinks but dares not say anything about our hard earned money going on daycare so that I can lie in bed with my iPhone all day..

Bill understands my thorough belief that every single mother deserves an entire day where they do not work and do not have their children, it’s so much easier to love when you’ve had a chance to catch your breath.

He comes to give me a kiss before he goes, something about being kid free gives me a vixen sultry sex goddess vibe and I lure him in for a much needed quicky, I can guarantee there will be no complaints about my lack of cleaning today #win.

I immediately contemplate the pregnancy issue, I had promised myself not to #bangbill until he got his snip, the appointments not till April though and we were starting to feel like flat mates again. Oh well, cross my fingers.

Daycare calls me, Rumi is sick. Gotta be fucking kidding me, he was fine this morning. I snap at them, mildly accuse them of purposely sending him home to lower their work load. They insist I come to get him.

I walk in, poor baby is really sick. I scoop him up embarrassed and try not to make eye contact with the woman who called me. #shitmum.

I take him straight to the doctors, really hot doctor calls Rumi’s name. Asks me what the symptoms are. I freeze and just keep staring at him. “Constance?” Hot doc says. Fuck I completely tuned out. I realise I’m not wearing shoes and I’m in the same dress I wore yesterday, the same dress I just #bangedbill in. I snap out of it and get my boy some antibiotics. Note to self, wax before Pap smear 😉👌🏼

I call everyone I know to find someone to do school run. Everyone’s busy, my mums says she’s busy seeing her new boyfriend, my step dad’s too stoned, my brothers abandoned me to go surfing. I drive to the school and request the kids early, Rumi’s too sick to get him home and then out again for school run, he’s 40 degrees and so is the weather.

We all get home, Bill gets home. He’s still being husband of the year because he got rooted. He agrees to take Rumi and pick Snow up later so the kids and I can go to the beach.

Like always, the beach clears our heads. I’m in love with my kids again.

We get home, we all shower and I do a naked dance that incorporates all of my wobbly spots wobbling away, the kids laugh. I get dressed, do dinner, get them all into bed with me and plant big intense kisses on their beautiful little faces. The PPP would be having a seizure.

Bill’s still stoked. I should #bangbill more often.

💗 Con

  1. Profile photo of Nessa
    Nessa 11 months ago

    Good on ya Queen Constance xx
    Nothing like a quickie to keep your man happy. I always feel the horn when my mans off to night shift and when he visits in his uniform. He’s an armed Police Officer #lucky

  2. Profile photo of saggytitts
    saggytitts 11 months ago

    its amazing how fast they get sick, literally balls of energy one minute limp hot runny nosed noodles the next.. hope you get enough rest and your sick baby gets well fast. as another mother of 4 knows though ill bet your wondering who the next to get it is..and wondering how many days or weeks of illness you have to endure.

  3. Profile photo of Ellie Bevan
    Ellie Bevan 11 months ago

    One of the worst things about a sick kid when you have more than 1 is how to get the healthy ones home without making the sick one more ill, when 1 parent is busy! Case in point was yesterday – youngest one gets up, promptly voms everywhere (cheers ginge). Morning school run was fine, but I had to work yesterday afternoon – and was already pissed off that I had to be a bus wanker! Hubby had to take the mini ginger with a sick bowl in the end ‘Just In Case’!!

  4. Profile photo of Jakki
    Jakki 11 months ago

    Don’t #bangbill too often… it loses its power then 😂
    Hope wee rumi is on the mend soon queen! X

  5. Profile photo of Sugar
    Sugar 11 months ago

    I am having a real tough day too. This life kicks my ass sometimes. I am proud of myself for ‘soldiering on today and trying the best i can.’

  6. Profile photo of Heidi Shukralla
    Heidi Shukralla 11 months ago

    Dude, no need to wax before your pap smear. It really doesnt make any difference to us!

  7. Profile photo of Kel
    Kel 11 months ago

    Ugh omg I so hear ya, my little queen has picked up EVERY FUCK ING THING this last few weeks……they ring me at the drop of a hat, except for today when I got her she really did have a temp, was snotty as hell and needed me, but today they don’t ring……fffs! And they had given her someone else’s dummy 😠😕 but insisted it was hers…….?
    Good shit, pity it’s not beach weather here or I’d be there in a flash, fixes all, and I’ll never pass up an opportunity to kiss by beautiful girl on the lips fuck anyone who thinks differently 😗😙😘😚💋👄

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