I have the desperate creepy vibe. It beams out of me.
It’s cool, I’ve made peace with the vibe.
Because no matter how much “cool-chic” perfume you try and disguise it with.. Men will always sniff out the desperado creep vibe.
I like to consider myself a bit of an expert on getting dumped.
-Some guys like to do the “righty” and dump you face to face, it’s rare but it happens. The whole, “I’m just too busy for a relationship” thing which is sweet, until you notice them moving in with a new girlfriend the following week..
-Some guys like to do it via text, I know that this is gutless but I never minded it, if I’m going to be dumped I’d kind of like to be able to shove food/vodka/valium in my mouth and cry like a bitch instead of hold back my tears and get hives with the stress of trying to look like you think breaking up is a great idea too, you’re not having a nervous breakdown inside. at. all.
-Some guys do nothing, like Houdini their way out of a year long relationship, where you and your mates assume he must have past away suddenly. This really brings out my inner desperado creep vibe with endless messages, drive bys and “popping” up at their work.. “Babe!!! It’s me!!! Still on for Thursday night blow jobs right???? I think I have crabs.. Are you Itchy? I brought us a puppy!!!” High fiving myself- nobody ignores a Queenie 👊
-Some guys dump you when dumping is really unnecessary, like the morning after a 1 night stand when they roll over and tell you that it’s not working out, they are too busy right now for a GF bla bla bla. Snore face emoji hovers over my head. 😴😴
And some guys are so completely mental and fucked up and crazy, with such a deeply creepy desperate vibe too….. That they don’t dump you at all.
And in your own creepy little way you all go on to live happily ever after 😘