Never to leave a Queenie behind, I interrupted, she told me how overwhelmed she is. I told her the following story.
The worst “not coping fuck my life day” that I can remember was the day I had to get the twins an ultrasound on their hips, they were 6 weeks old.
I had Arlo and the twins with me, nobody could help. Bill and my mum had to work and I was so determined not to look like I “couldn’t cope” that I didn’t call anyone else.
I parked at the hospital, for some reason I thought that putting one twin in the baby carrier and holding the other was an easier option than putting them in the pram.
I went to line up at the ultrasound place, the line was massive, the twins started squawking, I was jiggling them to keep them happy,
Arlo was in and out of vision, annoying elderly people and climbing on chairs,
Twins squawking became screams,
My jiggles became full blown star jumps to entertain them,
The nurse came and asked me if we could wait in a hospital bay, probably so that Arlo would stop trying to mug patients on their way in,
We did so,
After an hour we were called into the longest ultrasound of our lives.
Both twins hips were fine,
We had to line up to pay, twins screamed again. Arlo collapsed next to a vending machine in desperate need of a lemonade, I couldn’t even reach my purse,
Queen behind the counter told me she’d email
Me the bill. Thank fuck,
Arlo still lying down in lemonade protest,
I step over him,
The pitch of the twins scream sends a shiver up my back and I feel like I’m about the lose my shit at the world,
Instead I breath and somehow convince Arlo to come, with me to the car,
The sun is beaming on the twins little heads, I get panicked, skin cancer ads floating around my head,
I swiftly get to the car guiding Arlo out of oncoming traffic by screaming because I have no free hands, everyone’s staring,
I get to the car, it’s boiling hot, the twins are screaming and going red,
I realise I haven’t paid for my parking ticket,
I yell for Arlo to follow me, we need to find the parking pay station, he bursts into tears and yells that he wants a lemonade,
I feel that anxiety creeping up my back again and look every where with 3 screaming humans attached to me,
I can’t find it anywhere so I walk back to the car,
The kids are roasting, I need to get them in the air-conditioning.
I start the car and get everyone in.
There is no way I’m getting everyone out again to find the pay station.
I drive to the boom gate and shove my unpaid ticket in,
It doesn’t open,
Someone says something in the intercom, I offer my credit card details but he says no “Pay for your ticket”
Cars pile up behind me, beeping at me, someone gets out of their car and walks towards me,
I wind my window up and lock my door, look straight ahead and burst into tears,
Asks me why I didn’t pay for my ticket,
I explained to him that the pay station was hidden or camouflaged and my 3 children could have the beginning stages of melanoma after looking for it,
I offered to pay him,
He said no,
I wound the window up again and called my mum crying,
By now there were 8 cars behind me beeping and 3 drivers standing by my car.
My mum told me to put her on to the security guard,
I unwound my window a bit and held up my phone on loud speaker,
My mum gave him a mouthful, he agreed I could just pay him,
I was $2 short, I told him I had a credit card,
He shook his head and the boom gates opened,
I nearly crashed into an ambulance on my way out.
Drove to the nearest takeaway and got Arlo a massive Lemonade.
Called my mum and somehow we both laughed,
I turned my little Queenies tears into laughter as she breathed a sigh of relief, I said “see Queenie, no matter how shit your day is you’re not me crying at the boom gate refusing to make eye contact with a crowd of people.
Let all Queens never forget how healing the words “you’re not alone” can be.
💗 you guys so much. Con 👑💅