The Struggle is Real

It’s 4pm
There is a war between Billie-Violet and Arlo in my back yard.


Snow just spewed- I’m crossing my fingers and toes and apologising to God for not praying in 25 years – until now, “please don’t let it be gastro.”

Bill is in his office (our bedroom with his computer in it) “pretending” to work.

Billie-Violet comes in and cries to me, the cat scratched her – no shit- it’s been in your arms against its will for 1.5 hours.

Rumi is having nappy free time, he just pissed in his granddads shoe.

I check on Bill to see if maybe he could help, now he is pretending to sleep due to a sore back that he’s pretending to have, unfortunately for Bill I heard his iPhone switch off before I entered the room. β€ͺ#β€Žnotsleeping‬

Arlo, “mum I’m hungry.” Me “dinners nearly ready” Arlo “I’m not hungry for dinner!! I want a biscuit!!!” He collapses in depression.

Billie-Violet comes inside to tell me why her life isn’t fair and why Arlo’s life is so much better than hers.

I start dinner. I’m starving.

Bills friend knocks on the door, I let him in. Bills imaginary back miraculously heals and he jumps up to grab his mate a beer.

I run the bath, put the twins in, look at my surroundings and consider this to be a good a time to clean the bathroom- that urge passes with great speed and I continue to look at my filthy bathroom.

Bill has taken over dinner, he has developed a limp for dramatic effect and some strange noises to insinuate that the sore back is getting worse.

Twins are over tired and screaming.

Arlo falls asleep on the couch, really bad timing- if I wake him up he’ll be a monster, if I put him to bed he will wake up in an hour and stay up until midnight. I put him in bed, pray again that he sleeps through.

I do Billie-Violets reading with her.

I dress the twins, make them a bottle and put them to bed. All is forgotten when they sleep.

I serve up dinner and sit down to eat my own.

Before I can even start Arlo wakes up and screams for me from his bed. His mood is fowl and he’s not going back to sleep.

Bill eats and takes his pretend sore back to bed, I follow him in there and inform him that his sore back has been nominated for an Oscar.. Bill “fuck off” me “you fuck off” Bill winks at me as I storm out of the room. I let myself down by laughing.

I make he kids lunches for tomorrow, healthy ones that I know won’t get touched but at least I will fool the teachers that I run a healthy house hold.

I run myself a bath, sit in it and relax.

Both kids come in and strip.

I got out.

I let the kids jump into my bed because I just can’t be fucked arguing with them about going into theirs.

All is forgotten when they sleep..

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I pass the dirty bathroom..

Still wearing the crown… Still a queen. πŸ‘‘πŸ‘ŠπŸΌ

πŸ’— Con

Ps I think Bills going to pull through guys.

  1. Profile photo of Ang
    Ang 12 months ago

    Wow, what a day!! This queen is exhausted too. After chasing 6 tiny tots with a cold. And still no help from that other adult that tends shows his face when the house becomes quite and clean. Why? Because he worked the last two days. Well buddy I work 65 hrs a week and cook clean and take care of 6 others everyday. Tonight I’m taking a bath and going to bed. He can feed himself. Guess I’ll clean in the morning. My crown will remain buried under the pile of toys I will pick up in the morning.

  2. Profile photo of Shannon
    Shannon 12 months ago

    I had to laugh , even though it’s so not funny.
    Sounds like a mirror image of my life.

  3. Profile photo of Babs84
    Babs84 12 months ago

    Amazing post, sounds pretty familiar. Love reading your posts, I read them every night before going to bed. It’s a relief to not feel alone while reading your blogs and other’s comments! Thanks Con!

  4. Profile photo of Sharni Wimbridge
    Sharni Wimbridge 12 months ago

    Finally, a place where we can ALL realise our lives are very similar. I was going silently insane many years ago, thinking something was wrong with me, until I met a Queen who bitched to me about her husband. And then I realised my feelings were NORMAL – hooray. Great sigh of relief. Support comes in many forms and Con is better than the most expensive “therapy” any day. I raise my glass to all of us – keep on keeping on…xxx

  5. Profile photo of Sal
    Sal 12 months ago

    My husband has not had as many “bowel problems” as he has had since we’ve had our son. Seriously, the amount of time he is in there and not out here with me and the toddler is insane. Seems to hit him in the morning when packing lunches. I keep telling him he needs to see a specialist. Just like Bill and his back.

  6. Profile photo of JoJo
    JoJo 12 months ago

    I thought it was just my fella that avoided contact with the rest of the herd lol that last bit did make me laugh! sounds so familiar all of it with the exception that something usually gets broken or lost and I get shouted at cuz im responsible for looking after the man’s stuff while he’s in bed even when I can’t be in the room 24/7 rant over lol feeling more queen with every post thanks for bravely sharing your world with us πŸ˜‰

  7. Profile photo of Paige
    Paige 12 months ago

    I got tired just reading that! Four kids is a lot-o-kids. πŸ™‚

  8. Profile photo of sophie
    sophie 12 months ago

    tiered me out too and know the feeling too well.
    had a little argument with the hubby yesterday in which he told me my job as a mum of three is no where near as mentally draining as his! il just tell him to read this, he may think again!
    sorry just thought id vent on here . x

  9. Profile photo of TABITHA
    TABITHA 12 months ago

    Well my demon ivy Lou is screaming in the corner of the room curled up in a ball, why? Because I brushed her hair…I’m sat on the couch ignoring her trying not to cry as sometimes being on your own half a world away from friends and family is hard, really bloody hard. I know she’s only 4, well nearly, so I’ll take some more deep breaths then keep on being a queen β™•

  10. Profile photo of Angela5
    Angela5 12 months ago

    You fucking rock Queen!! So nice to know there are other people out there dealing with the same shit and owning it!

  11. Profile photo of Dee
    Dee 12 months ago

    Hello Constance. I have only recently been following you on fb and as it is a friend of a friend follows you and that’s how you popped up in my life!! Firstly I want to say that you are absolutely amazing. Yes I don’t know you personally but reading your posts is like I do and I’m sure that’s the same for the other gorgeous girls on here.
    I am 35 and a mother of a 10mth old boy plus expecting in September. I have a partner but he is away a lot of the time. The last two of weeks have really tested me and gosh (aka fuck) have I wanted to run for the hills … Run off a cliff … Run in front of a truck … You get my point. But for some reason I just keep on going and bottling up my emotions and feelings. The last couple of days I’ve opened up to friends and my partner and it’s helped in a big way even though my partner and I are hating on each other at the moment because he doesn’t get me and I don’t get him. Will I ever get him …. Hmmm no! People could be reading this saying I have postnatal depression and they can think that but deep down I would say 90% of people have weeks like this.
    I saw your Ellen tube video and loved it as you are spot on in saying that us queens have these wags around us to live up too as its plastered everywhere.
    So I want to say from the bottom of my heart a huge thank you for being you and showing the true life of motherhood whether it’s good, bad or ugly! You have made me laugh, cry, and realise that what we do is our best and our best only. So yes, the haters can go fuck themselves and the Queens, well you go do what us queens do best … Lots of love and laughter!!!

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