Never Giving Up

I want to say thank you to my haters, because when you voice your hate you have reminded me…

Connie.Enough

That we are enough…

When I wrote a post about toddlers with their full nappies and you tell me I’m a neglectful parent, you are trying to hit me in my core. All I have ever wanted to be is a good parent.

When I write about letting children eat 2 minute noodles for dinner and you respond telling me that’s child abuse, you want my soul to ache. Child abuse are two very cutting words, my life revolves around protecting my children from abuse.

We love our children with such purity that when it is questioned we shatter, you want us to shatter.

That is the curse of motherhood, that is our vulnerability and it has been used against us for long enough.

So thank you… Thank you for reminding me how utterly important I am. Thank you for subconsciously whispering words of encouragement into my ears. Thank you for forcing me to never give up on this movement.

Thank you for giving the queens a chance to defend our rights to parent judgement free. We have been held back for far too long.

Because I have always loved women so much, believed that we are guilted too much, expected to much of and pushed too far out of fear of not being enough.

When we are more than enough.

[plista widgetname=plista_widget_innerArticle additional=1]

The thought of my queens being belittled, squashed or judged by you or guilted by your viscous voices is just not good enough for me.

I won’t let that happen, I won’t let the queens be overpowered by people who benefit from keeping us unsure of ourselves, guilty or not good enough.

Because we are more than enough..

We are so fucking good enough, we give our lives to our children, we do not have to enjoy every moment of it, we do not have to be perfect, we are entitled to our fuck ups.

So thank you haters, thank you for so publicly proving my point, thank you for being the example that I have been looking for.

Thank you for pointing out how much the world needs Queens.

Thank you for trying to hurt me, your words barely brushed past me, but the power and motivation they bring will last a life time.

You have empowered the queens all over the world to say enough.

We are enough.

Love Con

44 Comments
  1. Profile photo of QueenMother
    QueenMother 11 months ago

    Haters and people that try to hurt you, in any part of your life only have the power to do so if you let them.
    ‘You make me feel…..’ cannot work if you just let it wash over you.
    No-one can ‘make’ you feel anything….. it is a choice we make…whether to allow it or not ๐Ÿ™‚
    Wise words Constance ….. more power to you ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Profile photo of Tricia G
    Tricia G 11 months ago

    There’s always someone in the crowd who is so miserable that they feel the need to judge and attack others. I applaud your honesty and humor. I was in Perth two years ago- so sad I didn’t know you then! Love from Texas โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™

    • Profile photo of MrsH
      MrsH 11 months ago

      You are so right.. They are miserable and they want you to be miserable too!

      My husbands ex wife threatens to report me to social services said I was the reason her son had a cold sore…told people I didn’t feed them right because I gave them hotdogs for tea! All is and more I ended up on medication for anxiety & had to see a therapist! This still continues 4 years on.. I don’t take the meds anymore and I try to ignore her nastiness but it’s not easy.. Why people need to be like this to fill their lives is beyond me! I’m a good mum, and they are damn lucky to have me as a step parent if she’d only put her shit to one side, deal with it and let us get on they would all see that!! Happy Monday xx

  3. Profile photo of melziggy
    melziggy 11 months ago

    Perfect ๐Ÿ˜„ well said Constance ๐Ÿ˜˜….and too the haters ๐Ÿ˜

  4. Profile photo of Walker
    Walker 11 months ago

    weird are their really people out there saying horrible things like that! that sucks. as far as i can see your children are healthy, not obese or sick or harming themselves or others, i would say your job as a parent deserves a pay rise ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Profile photo of Em :)
    Em :) 11 months ago

    What shit heads . :\ #thankF$!ckfor2minnoodles #idontwannacookeverynight
    #stupidarsetrolls

  6. Profile photo of Jaclyn33
    Jaclyn33 11 months ago

    Your words give me strength on the days that I feel like I have done a sub par job in the most important job in the world. Full nappies and noodles happen quite a bit but I love my kids and that is all that matters. Thank you.

  7. Profile photo of saggytitts
    saggytitts 11 months ago

    Thankyou so much, i wanted to raise mine different to how i was raised, i was raised in the children will be seen as perfect dolls seen and not heard in a perfectly clean house etc etc.. in other words little robots.

    i want to raise warriors of peace, strong individuals who not only feel its ok to stand up and speak when something isnt right for them or simply not right, and to champion those who do not have the strength to speak for themselves..

    yes as you yourself know, not expecting or wanting perfect showroom homes, perfect meals, perfect looking and behaved children is difficult, allowing them the space to grow into individuals free from expectations of gender roles or what we think they should be but themselves happy and confident. i want them to be able to question, and they cant do that if their parents are so immersed in what everyone else thinks of their kids and home that they want everything to be perfect.

    so as a result, the house is often a bomb, they sometimes argue with me and eachother honing their conflict skills..

    thankyou for backing us up, those of us like yourself who believe, that belief in oneself, knowing its ok to make mistakes, be a bit disheveled, and live life, not a lifestyle, is more important that a spotless appearance or organic food…We love you.

  8. Profile photo of justme
    justme 11 months ago

    You have no idea how much I needed to see this! I’ve been having a hard time with a particular person try and parent shame the living daylights out of me. Fortunately I’m surrounded by a supportive bunch of Queens and Kings who are helping hold me up. But to see it in writing and from such a public figure (and one of my favourite parental heroines) it makes me feel so much better!

  9. Profile photo of Samantha
    Samantha 11 months ago

    I was having a real shit day last week and went to the super market to grab a few things with my two year old son as per usual, out of nowhere a mature lady goes out of her way to come up to me to say in a horrible judgemental tone “excuse me, you do realise you are teaching your son to WADDLE by letting him wear those thongs, he needs propper support for his feet thats why he is WADDLING!” Much to my disgust, i said “thank you but i think i will be the best judge of that” and continued to walk away… When she said “look at you, you WADDLE too!” I was so shocked not only was she parent shaming me over a concern that is non existant she also went out of her way to completely insult and humiliate me! I then turned around and said “excuse me im already having a bad day and i find that extremely rude!” She then carried on to say “when someone more mature than you tells you advice you listen!” Blah blah blah! (and just for the record me and my son do NOT so called WADDLE! We walk perfectly fine! Lol) I spend every waking minute of my life making sure i do the best for my son and that im taking care of him the best i can! Shes lucky i even PUT shoes on his feet! After this happend it brought me to tears more then once and left me feeling shattered, embarrased and like a failure! She made me question everything i was doing as a mother! Im all for advice from people that love and care for us but not rude unwanted advice from strangers that are just trying to put me down! Im all for this movement to stop the mum shaming! Mother F******! Xx

    • Profile photo of eva
      eva 11 months ago

      Your on gc people can be assholes here, I’ve had so much shit thrown at me in my 12 years of parenting it’s actually given me anxiety feeling so judged sometimes. Thank fuck for Constance or we’d think we were the only ones your doing the best job you can whatever that might be on the day ๐Ÿ˜‚, thongs really what a fucking moron she is, I’m sure she would of found something to judge you on if it wasn’t the thongs.

    • Profile photo of Marsha mom1st
      Marsha mom1st 11 months ago

      Hey Samantha, what an idiot that woman! Even if there was a waddling she could have said sonething in an other tone. I HATE people who play the maturety card. Mostley, thats all they have over you. Not WISDOM just age. Thats not the same thing. I can totaly rely that you felt like a bad mom and cried over it, but please let it go. It was here wrong, not yours!! You ARE a great mom I am sure, because otherwise this wouldn’t hurt you so much. Keep up the good work fellow supermom!

  10. Profile photo of Kira-Lee
    Kira-Lee 11 months ago

    Hail Queen Constance!
    Thank you for putting into words what all us other queens think and feel!
    Keep being amazing xo

  11. Profile photo of jwhitneyk1
    jwhitneyk1 11 months ago

    Your ‘parental guilt’ piece was everything I needed to hear as a mom and a perfect poetic punch of motherly truth. I… loved… every… word.

  12. Profile photo of Jacky
    Jacky 11 months ago

    Missed baths, letting them stay up way past bed time, feeding them “fast” food — moms need a shortcut and a break every now and then. People need to stop judging so harshly. Thanks for making us less than perfect moms feel like we’re doing a perfectly good job.

  13. Profile photo of Vanessa Plummer
    Vanessa Plummer 11 months ago

    Ah, yes. These are the people that I refer to as ‘the better thans’. They are so blinkered and judgemental that they wander the planet really believing that they are better than other people!! And there is nothing more messed up than that, to me.

  14. Profile photo of Rodger Owen
    Rodger Owen 11 months ago

    Good post, Con. Recognizing with forbearance your haters is certainly an above human trait – just another example of how great your heart is. Well, to the criticism, who hasn’t had kids running around with full diapers (nappies)? Who hasn’t given their kids less than the perfect meal? Hell, if parents were condemned as dead beat parents and their kids taken away for such behavior, all of us, and our parents, and their parents, and so on to cave dwellers, would have been fostered since no humans would have been deemed adequate to raise their children under such standards. As it is, most of us have not been fostered, so treating our kids as such has obviously not been such a bad thing at all, and is most probably extremely normal. I can only shake my head at such detractors while thinking that either they are not parents themselves, or they don’t take care of their kids (you know, rich snobs who pay others to take care of their kids?). No parent should feel guilty if their kids are healthy, safe, and loved. Everything else are just mundane details to those three ends – to include days where things aren’t exactly perfect!

  15. Profile photo of TABITHA
    TABITHA 11 months ago

    Well said! We all do the best we can, even when the best us just getting up out of bed to face life when all you want to do us hid away under the covers cry. Our children are all wonderful, difficult, beautiful, naughty, clever, annoying little monsters and sometimes just not telling them to bugger off and just give us 5 minutes peace is bloody good parenting. I think if you are societies idea of a perfect parent you are in face not helping them as what are we teaching our children if we are there at their beck and call.. That a mothers needs are less important than theirs? What about if we cater to their every need and whim..That they are entitled to everything and have to work for nothing? How about when we stop what we are doing to tend to their wants…That they don’t need to learn patience and respect for others and what they are doing. Parenting is about balance and the way we respond to our children’s wants and desires mold them into the adults that they will become. So yes my daughter waits till I’m ready, she eats when I cook, she doesn’t get to go where she wants or has everything she wants, she has to wait till the adults have finished their train of conversation before we answer, she knows to count to at least ten after saying excuse me before we respond. BUT at 3 3/4 she debates like a champion, has a huge vocabulary, is smart considerate, kind and compassionate so stuff the haters my daughter awesome despite of my less than perfect parenting. I am a QUEEN ๐Ÿ‘‘

  16. Profile photo of Lozzie
    Lozzie 11 months ago

    After having such a hard time yesterday, this is exactly what I needed to hear to help get me back on my feet. Thank you!

  17. Profile photo of Ang
    Ang 11 months ago

    I love your column. It brings back memories of when my kids were little. 2 minute noodles for tea cos that was the easy option after a day of tantrums (from both of us). The nappy full of wees, that was going to be changed earlier but got I’d gotten distracted by something else.The sleepless nights from teething and dishes not getting done. I read everyone else’s comments and think “Yep been there, done that. Totally get where you’re coming from”
    A couple of times I’ve been to the supermarket and seen parents with demanding kids and see the frustration and embarrassment in their faces cos the kid is playing up demanding this and that and just being a little shite. One Mum I saw said “NO” a number of times to the kid whining but I could see she wanted to give in so I went over to her and told her she was doing a great job and stick to her decision. She said thanks and looked relieved. I think as parents with older kids we sometimes forget we went through that with ours. I also think that we need to encourage other mums esp when we can see that it’s been a hell day for them.
    Thank you Constance for taking the time to be brutally honest with how things are. I know it means alot to us even if our kids are not little anymore we can still relate to the feelings and know that we are not alone.
    Samantha…… Im sorry you had to go through that with that “cow”. It sounded like something my mother would have said. They think they are being helpful when in actual fact they’re not. I think some of the older/mature generation have forgotten what the real world is like. It’s alot more fast pace these days and all we are trying to do is be the best mums we can for our kids and a little encouragement wouldn’t go astray.
    So to all you mums and dads out there. Keep up the good work. It’s ok to have a shit day, it’s ok to cry. If you can, take some time for you. Even if it means going down to the back garden and sitting under the tree while your kid is safely in their room finishing off the tanty from hell. ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Profile photo of Maryanne
    Maryanne 11 months ago

    There is no such thing as a perfect parent, and if someone thinks they are even slightly close to being a perfect parent, trust me that there will always be someone there judging and ready to disagree because of their own different values and opinions. Even though they have no right what so ever. If our children are happy and healthy and loved then everyone should just piss off!

  19. Profile photo of Paige
    Paige 11 months ago

    And usually they don’t even have kids!

  20. Profile photo of Sam
    Sam 11 months ago

    Haters only hate because they are not at peace with who they are. They feel the need to shit on others who wear their confidence like a badge of honour because they are not capable of feeling the joy of self love. Nothing is more pure than being real and if we focus on accepting other people’s differences, and rolling with our own choices, backing ourselves 100% then motherhood would be less a contest and actually enjoyable for the best part because we would no longer feel the need to justify every action. Such as…my son 2 has watched the movie Hop 3 times today already and will probably watch it again because I’m an awesome mum and rolling with my choices. X

  21. Profile photo of Jennifer
    Jennifer 11 months ago

    YES YES YES!!! THANK YOU!!!!

  22. Profile photo of Lennie
    Lennie 11 months ago

    Everyday I feel like I’m falling on my ass. Con your way of saying things really helps me get back up on my feet to stand strong. *superhero pose* ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘ญ

  23. Profile photo of Looloo*^โ€ข
    Looloo*^โ€ข 11 months ago

    Omg ‘word’๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผโฃโฃโฃโฃโฃ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ

  24. Profile photo of Queen Claudi
    Queen Claudi 11 months ago

    I was once chatting to another mom about the challenges of working full time and having 2 very small children. She replied “I decided that I was not going to be a working mom, I was going to be a GOOD mom.” As if you can’t be both!!!!!!

  25. Profile photo of Tamara'lee
    Tamara'lee 11 months ago

    Mmmhmmm … could not agree more. (And with the mood I am in if I do I could possibly throw my ph – so best not) x

  26. Profile photo of Becca
    Becca 11 months ago

    Totally awesome ๐Ÿ™‚ -Tear- Best shit ever

  27. Profile photo of MamaJ
    MamaJ 11 months ago

    My babies have grown up now.
    All I have ever wanted is to be a good mum. Being a mum never stops. It is a lifetime vocation and the most rewarding, heartbreaking and loving relationship I will ever know. Our vulnerability as mothers continues forever. It is important for women to stand strong and believe in their skills as a mother as she alone knows that bond of love for her children.
    Judgement from outsiders is wrong as they may be unaware and not understand what is happening in ones life. I believe that as mums we are discredited at times when all we want is to love and nurture.
    Even as our babies grow and have secrets, I want to believe that they will eventually share them …to heal
    Your view of turning the negative into positive is empowering.
    Power and love to all the Queens!

  28. Profile photo of Queenhavok
    Queenhavok 11 months ago

    Love you Con, Just made me cry. I really needed to be reminded that “we are enough”, so thank you. F*** the haters!!!!!!

  29. Profile photo of Cat
    Cat 11 months ago

    Haters go’n hate.
    Please remove yourselves from reading said blog
    Do not return
    That is all.

  30. Profile photo of Sarah
    Sarah 11 months ago

    Great saying I like go live by…

    Never ASSUME, you’ll make an ASS out of U AND ME

    xxx

  31. Profile photo of Siรขn B
    Siรขn B 11 months ago

    I learnt a long time ago to not give a flying fuck what a lot of people said. I’ve done noodles, hell I’ve done breadsticks and apples. Not everything has to be a battle, and those that come up have to be chosen carefully. My kids eat very healthy and always have a good diet, so if one day they just want breadsticks and apples, what’s the problem?
    Parenthood is not a dictatorship, and my children have a right to be happy in every aspect of their lives. They’re aware of ‘rules’ but they’re also aware that their Dad and I are the ones they can always come and talk to about anything, because we love them unconditionally and will not box them up into what society tells them to be.
    Children should be free to express, to create, to experiment and to be. Anyone who doesn’t like or agree with that isn’t even on my radar.
    FWIW my eldest LOVES 2 minutes noodles ๐Ÿ˜‰

  32. Profile photo of Twin flame
    Twin flame 11 months ago

    Its through reaching our goals and achievements that we show the strength we have gained during our troubled times (and from idiots who either have too much time on their hand or lead boring, miserable lives, who feel the need to judge and critize other and dampen your sparkle).
    Dont let anyone put out that sparkle!

  33. Profile photo of GossamerSplendor
    GossamerSplendor 11 months ago

    Haha what a joke… well ham and tom toasties r were on my 4 yr olds plate. Kids dont eat much and every fukin time i slaveee over that stove my kids turn their nose up. Fuk it. Ham toasties and strawberries for dessert . Then goodnight. . Xx

  34. Profile photo of ParisianQueen
    ParisianQueen 11 months ago

    Je t’aime trop !

  35. Profile photo of Lizzy
    Lizzy 11 months ago

    Thank you. I think today I actually said ” I am the worst mother, I can’t do this” . I am not! I have a 10 month old who DOES NOT want to nap at all, AT all! I am a great fucking mother! I really enjoy naps cuz it is my time to put my feet up and chill OR clean like a coffee running maniac. Thank you for you words of love and kindness and HOPE! MY BABY IS MY EVERYTHING. Even here I want to apologize cuz I “only have one” !! WTF! I am over haters and judgers, this includes my inner voice. So so so much love to all of you today and everyday. We need each other.

  36. Profile photo of tricia
    tricia 11 months ago

    Fuck yea Con! โœŠ๐Ÿ‘ŠโœŒ

  37. Profile photo of Renae
    Renae 11 months ago

    Yesterday was a struggle. I have five kids 15, 14, 11, 7 and 3, my husband works away. I got a call from the hospital at 3:30 Monday afternoon to say my eldest could have her teeth operated on. They’d had a cancellation. I took it and then went into a full blown panic, the hospital is 2 hours away and I have no family support where we live, i had to leave home at 8am and was shitting myself as to how I was going to get kids ready for school, on the bus and home again.

    I looked in the mirror and thanks to you and your words I told myself I’m a queen and I’ve got this shit. I arranged the second eldest to stay home from school to sort the littles and we had two minute noodles for tea. I nailed it. It was a huge feat for me as I suffer depression and anxiety so some days just getting out of bed is a struggle but you got my ass up and I did it.

    Thankyou. Xxx

  38. Profile photo of Gem Butcher
    Gem Butcher 10 months ago

    Funny, my partner is currently going through custody issues with his ex over their child.. It breaks my heart, but what is amazing is that with every insult she throws at him about what a shit father he is, he instinctively thinks of some great thing that he actually does! His entire goal is to love, nourish and protect his son, and I think that with that knowledge in his heart, his mind automatically protects him from letting her words drag him down.. Powerful words Con!! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป

Leave a reply

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account