Guess what Queen?

You’re not a shit mum.
Even though your toddlers nappy is so full he’s dragging it a metre behind his bum, still not shit.

guess-what-queen

Even though you totally lost the one thing you’re trying to teach your kids to keep… Control, while yelling at them because they just wouldn’t shut up.

Still not shit.

Even though they have had magi noodles for dinner twice this week?

Still not shit.

Even though you forgot his school lunch, you didn’t make her do her home work, you picked the babies nose and wiped the snot on his own top, you didn’t force them to go to sleep before 9ย  last night and now they are both totally fucked, they both have head lice and dreadlocks and they kind of look like feral deros.. But they are happy happy feral deros, so you are DEFINITELY not a shit mum.

Because that 1 thing that makes you feel like a shit mum.. Is parental guilt.

And shit mums don’t have parental guilt.

So embrace your guilt, feel grateful that you have it, forgive yourself and go on being an amazing mum, who fucks up daily yet loves those little feral deros with every corner of your soul and let the guilt go.

You’ve got this Queenie.

28 Comments
  1. Profile photo of Trish Q๐Ÿ‘‘
    Trish Q๐Ÿ‘‘ 11 months ago

    I would love a sticker, magnet, coaster or something with some your sayings Constance. Something we could keep on hand to remind us.

    Eg. Parental guilt =
    You’re NOT a shit Mum

    And some of the other pearls of wisdom you share Constance ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

  2. Profile photo of Janet Frankly
    Janet Frankly 11 months ago

    Hi Connie, I think I love you! Lol ๐Ÿ˜Š

  3. Profile photo of nan
    nan 11 months ago

    Best parenting line I’ve ever read

    “because that 1 thing that makes you feel like a shit mum….is parental guilt

    And shit mums don’t have parental guilt”

    ….this alone would have saved me so much angst over the last 13 years. Never a truer thing said and if it’s ok with you I might just start quoting it to the queens I know who are berating themselves for the way they handled a situation!

    Love your writing ….first time I’ve ever commented “out loud” on a blog!

  4. Profile photo of Moana
    Moana 11 months ago

    Keep doing what u do every day u bring something to brighten my day. Always on point. Always real always halerious . What a beautiful thing.

  5. Profile photo of TerriLynne
    TerriLynne 11 months ago

    Xox thank you for your words of wisdomโคโคโค

  6. Profile photo of Steph alba
    Steph alba 11 months ago

    You are too good queen
    I love that you say what all others would be to scared to say or admit.. You make all my days better and make me feel like I am a great mum!!

    Absolutely adore you ๐Ÿ˜

  7. Profile photo of Reah
    Reah 11 months ago

    Friken needed this now full on had a go at my 3 and soon to be 2 year old babies๐Ÿ˜ฉ Felt soo terrible afterwards. Feeling at peace while they are both asleep in the car whilst we wait for my fiancรฉ. Definitely taking advantage of this time to myself. Breathe lol love your post you are an inspiration to all woman out here๐Ÿ˜˜

  8. Profile photo of Glors
    Glors 11 months ago

    You are a true inspiration โค๏ธ Conโค๏ธ Love your ๐Ÿ‘‘

  9. Profile photo of Dani
    Dani 11 months ago

    My fellow friends aka queens are very real, very honest, very supportive & hilarious. We are always laughing at our own & each other’s kids stories. It helps you to know you’re not going too mad, though all the best ones are. Keep up the great work ๐Ÿ˜˜

  10. Profile photo of Issa
    Issa 11 months ago

    โ€œbecause that 1 thing that makes you feel like a shit mumโ€ฆ.is parental guilt

    And shit mums donโ€™t have parental guiltโ€

    YEP! that is all ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

  11. Profile photo of Knight's mum
    Knight's mum 11 months ago

    Wow this is gonna help me soooo much. I am a new mum and parent guilt eats me up sometimes but it’s good to know that it means I am not a shit mum.

  12. Profile photo of Joanne Bellini
    Joanne Bellini 11 months ago

    Lol! This was me everyday did I do it right? Is it too little or too much?
    Checking every site – the boys are older now and do not remember a thing!
    So I guess I did it right! I guess if they don’t remember it was not traumatic therefore all good!
    Well that’s how I look at it
    So thanks
    Jo

  13. Profile photo of Fatguys girl
    Fatguys girl 11 months ago

    You’re so true blue and I love it. I love your writing. Absolutely amazing Queen. P.S congrats on Ellen. A friendly admirer.

  14. Profile photo of Nays
    Nays 11 months ago

    I sit here with tears rolling down my face, cause this week, I’ve felt like a shit mum. Real fucking shit. Wet towels have been sitting in the washing machine for 4 days, house looks like we’ve been raided. Ran out of bread yesterday, kids had tuck shop for the 3rd time this week (although they are having chicken and salad wraps) I’ve gone to bed at 1:30 every night and woken up shit tired and I grounded my 7yr old for treating her bestie like shit which is probably a reflection of my mood all week. But, everyday I’ve managed to bath them, feed them, love them, hug them and make them smile just by being a shit mum. Perhaps I’m not a shit mum after all??

  15. Profile photo of Violetlove
    Violetlove 11 months ago

    You literally make me laugh out loud!! I’m sharing your site with all my mom friends up here in Canada! Brilliant!!! ๐Ÿ˜˜

  16. Profile photo of Mel
    Mel 11 months ago

    Yes yes YES!!!!!!!
    Oh my goodness… I have scream shot this and am sending it to every girlfriend I have!!!!
    FUKIN LOVE IT!!!!!
    Soooooo true! Thank you Con, u hv just made tommow better for me already ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ‘‘

  17. Profile photo of Xanthi
    Xanthi 11 months ago

    Hi this is my first comment here ๐Ÿ™‚

    “And shit mums donโ€™t have parental guilt.”
    I need to print and frame this one!

  18. Profile photo of Farah
    Farah 11 months ago

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/mums-share-hilarious-accidentally-inappropriate-093700664.html

    Hi Constance. Your picture of BV and her art work made yahoo news!!

  19. Profile photo of Megan
    Megan 11 months ago

    I feel like a shit mom on the daily.

    Not because I am, but because others make me feel that way. And I shouldn’t let it affect me, but the weight of the world is literally on my shoulders. I’ve included a link (not necessary to donate) to kind of explain what’s been going on. On top of my son’s father treating me like a piece of garbage… Oye!

    I’ve been going through tough times lately & honestly, your words have helped so much, Con. You are a blessing. โ™ก

    gofundme.com/dqq76zwk

  20. Profile photo of Holly
    Holly 11 months ago

    You have made my day so much better. I’ve been trying to make time every day to read what you say as for that 15 minutes I don’t feel so alone & I feel ‘normal’. My baba is 5 weeks old & it’s been tough & so many people make out that being a mum is this amazingly wonderful thing (which it is) but no one ever tells you how they actually felt. If we queens were more honest about the difficulties then maybe we wouldn’t feel like we would have rocks thrown at our heads when we say, ‘actually it’s really bleddy hard & I sometimes hate my days at home’ & wouldn’t feel like shit patents for saying it. Con you make us all feel better about ourselves & you are a godsend to all us queens!!!!! Thank you x

  21. Profile photo of Jules
    Jules 11 months ago

    I so desperately needed to read this at this very moment. Thank you so much x

  22. Profile photo of WorkingMummyChronicles
    WorkingMummyChronicles 11 months ago

    I needed this post last week but I will be re-reading it when I parental guilt hit me again!

    Thank you so much! xxx

  23. Profile photo of Chaoticmama
    Chaoticmama 11 months ago

    You are a Legend thanks hon x

  24. Profile photo of Laureen Fitzpatrick
    Laureen Fitzpatrick 5 months ago

    I love this! ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ‘Œ

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