Baby Blues

The hardest thing I ever did was my first baby, I don’t remember being more tired, lonely or overwhelmed in my life.

baby.blues

Yes the more you have the more your work load grows but there is nothing like the wave of shock that hits you when you bring home your first baby.

Remember these things,

Nothing is permanent, don’t ever feel like you have let yourself down, you have created a monster or in anyway made your own life harder by spoiling your baby. Every day is different, some days baby sleeps and you brush your teeth, some days baby doesn’t and you rock in the corner staring at the wall.

Time spent enjoying yourself is not time wasted. There is nothing more important then your mental health. Do something everyday that you WANT to do. Maybe that’s going for a run, maybe it’s youtubing cat videos.

Some mums seem like naturals. They have blow dried hair and expensive prams. Inside they want to drown themselves in vodka, file for divorce and pull a bong too. They are just private queens so they do this on the inside. We are all struggling.

Vaginal births, breast feeding and co-sleeping are great, but so are C-sections, formula and babysitters. Your happiness is more important then any of it.

You feel a huge divide between your partner and you, you feel like he just doesn’t understand. Do you know what? It’s likely that he doesn’t right now, but he will, he will learn to understand. The divide will shrink and you will feel connected again.

You are succeeding. Every single day that you get through, you are succeeding, with no sleep, loud screams, marital breakdowns, no post baby weight loss, you are succeeding.

You are such a fucking royal success story, what you are doing is phenomenal and overwhelmingly hard.

Don’t ever forget that Queenie.

💗 Con

12 Comments
  1. Profile photo of Tearainy
    Tearainy 1 year ago

    I wish i could have read this when I had just brought my eldest daughter home. I was completely convinced that I was failing at everything and yet I had the house clean, a very easy baby and even did the whole making my own baby food. It seems like I had it together wright? Wrong! I had completely lost myself. I stopped eating, rarely had time for a shower and my then partner kept telling me I was the worst mother because I no longer got up at 4 am every morning to make him a hot breakfast and didn’t pick my daughter up every time she cried…,. Sadly having #2 didn’t make things easier as she was a whole new learning experience being preemie and then struggling with 2 on my own with no help at all.
    You are truly an inspiration to all parents everywhere Constance…. not just women but men too god bless

  2. Profile photo of Sandra Wilson
    Sandra Wilson 1 year ago

    Where were you 7 years ago when I bought my first born home! I am an older queen whose friends all had kids when they were younger and forgot the struggles. In a new city with no family support, I felt like a complete failure every day! My mum says she never struggled with us and can’t believe I ever had struggles with my babies! Thanks for making this site to comment on because I can’t comment on Facebook of my family think I am “moaning” and need to just “get on with it”. The last 7 years has nearly done my head in! Now that you have your site, my thing I WANT to do everyday is read your posts they have bought laughter back into my life! Sooooo funny was the vasectomy post!

  3. Profile photo of MissusZ
    MissusZ 1 year ago

    I just had my second baby, and I needed this today to remind me that I can do this. Shitey sleep and a 2 year old is tough. Yesterday my daughter had dropped a bowl of popcorn and sultanas all over the floor, I had accidentally opened the pepper grinder over dinner and so dinner was filled with peppercorns, I had spilled half the cooked pasta on the floor too, and my son was screaming because he wanted a cuddle…. And I didn’t even mutter my usual ” oh fucking hell”, I just picked up the food, picked up my son, adjusted my crown and got the fuck on with the night. I can do this!

  4. Profile photo of Nicola
    Nicola 1 year ago

    So glad I’ve read this. My little girl is 15 weeks and our first my god do I love her! She had her second jabs yesterday one minute she was crying like screaming the house down, next she was happy and smiling like I’d been lying about her crying. I had had a crap nights sleep, had a headache all day, everytime I though about having s quick nap she would wake up. And I felt so alone I needed someone to say to me hey it’s ok your doing great it happens to us all. I know having jabs upsets them and confuses them but it was damn upsetting for me too who was there for me? I just needed a hug to be honest. I felt like i was loosing my mind. Then the other half gets home, I’m open and honest and tell him how I was feeling – he says it’ll be fine and sits down….hello where’s my hug?! So I start crying and think what a crap mother I am. Then I decide to pull my shit together tell myself I’m an amazing mum, it’s my first time too I’m still learning and you know what generally my baby is happy so I must be doing something right! Today is a new day, we had s great nights sleep, today is going to be a good day.
    Sorry about the essay Queens but damn that felt good xx 👑

  5. Profile photo of Annie
    Annie 1 year ago

    Like others I wish I’d read this 8 months ago when I bought my first home from the hospital.. The father left after 3 weeks & I’ve been doing it alone since.. I’ve felt like a failure most days & felt like I had no idea what I was doing.. But yes I am succeeding, he’s turning into such a stubborn little boy who tests my patience but that’s all down to me, myself & I! Thank you Constance! From a daily confused lost queen!! 😘

  6. Profile photo of QueenM
    QueenM 1 year ago

    Been there… I would add that the jealousy you probably feel now towards the ‘free’ women with no children will pass too 😀 Just give it time! Since I gave birth to my baby I have new mantra: “This too shall pass!” The bad and the good times… So enjoy every fucking minute of it! :*

  7. Profile photo of kayzee
    kayzee 1 year ago

    I get it too. I had to
    1. stop Dr Googling
    and
    2. stop watching Grey’s Anatomy
    because I was literally going mad thinking I had something wrong with me.

  8. Profile photo of amyLou
    amyLou 1 year ago

    I have a 4 month old and there’s been times I’ve been a heap on the floor crying at the same time my little man cried because I just couldn’t handle it. My partner is very supportive luckily. However when he’s away for 24 hours at work and I’ve had an awful day he will take him for 2 hours to give me a break…. I need like the whole day lol! You’re an inspiration x

  9. Profile photo of Kendall
    Kendall 1 year ago

    I often feel like your posts are so well-timed! Our little guy is just about four months and it feels like we have been having a challenging day for about a fortnight now! Adding in his needles there and getting a cold just really was icing on the shit cake!
    So often I question myself and blame myself for whether he is sleeping, feeding easily, whatever else I can attribute to my failings. But I try to remind myself that I need to be kind to me first before I can be there for anyone else! So as I love to read here, I adjust my crown and get the fuck on with it!
    Thanks for saying the things that run through my mind, sometimes subconsciously. It’s really validating for us queens that don’t know how to say it, where to say it or who to say it to.
    Xo

  10. Profile photo of AllanaB
    AllanaB 1 year ago

    So needed to read this today

    I had my first baby in November and I thought stupidly in my head it would be a walk in the park but boy was I wrong, everyone tells you what you should be doing and u just feel shit.

    So thank you for this, it makes me feel normal x

  11. Profile photo of JoJo
    JoJo 1 year ago

    Glad i read this.. im due in may wirh baby number 1 😄 and have heard a lot about baby blues… its good to here it with our the bubble wrap and least what i know what im in for 😉

  12. Profile photo of Amybeth
    Amybeth 12 months ago

    Fucking hell. Almost burst into tears.
    Mothering and loving your kids the best way you can is legendary on its own.

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