My sexuality didn’t feel like mine. I didn’t feel like I owned it, I kind of felt like I was given it to offer the boys, to get them to like me.
I mean your parents always tell you not to do it until your ready, but how do you know if your ready?
Well I didn’t know, I was always that teenager who was eager to grow up, so sex was something I was dying to cross off the list.
The problem with this is that I wasn’t the one thing that I should have been before embarking on my road to (shit) sex. I wasn’t Horny!!!
So many girls in high school had given oral sex yet few of us had received it. Did we not feel entitled to it? Were we not offered it? Were we not into it enough?
Even into my young adult years I often think about receiving a good head job and all I can really remember is lying there, feeling awkward, being too concerned with what my generous lover was thinking to really enjoy what he was offering me. Looking at the ceiling wondering if the vag is up to scratch? So many women decline the offers of a southern venture because we are concerned that we might have disco fanny.. Which is really valid and respectful but I’ve never had a man decline a late night blowy because he was worried about disco balls? Hmm…
So I’ve analysed my sexuality and I have come to the conclusion that as a young women I subconsciously believed his pleasure was more important then mine. Despite being raised by a powerhouse of a single mum, despite having a woman respecting dad, I still had these weird cringe factor about my own sexuality.
How was that even installed into my brain?
I gave more head then I received, I wasn’t concerned at all by my MIA orgasm yet I treated men’s orgasms like some sort of holy miracle, the be all end all lord of sex.
A queens sexuality is hers and she is 100% entitled to it.
Sex is for 2 people (or 3 or more) that are both I the mood.
Teenage queens, if your not HORNY (I’m going to keep saying that word until you finally stop cringing) your not ready.
Because sex is hilarious and fun and most of all it is to stimulate and satisfy you both. It is not Christmas it is not really about giving, give and take or fuck off.
I want young queens to grow older and themselves in word that values their orgasm, I want them to feel vaginal pride, sexual pride.
I often think that a society that freely uses terms like slut, cock tease, whore is actually a society that is pushing women’s sexuality into the darkness.
I want to bring it to be light, I feel proud of my sexual history, entitled to my sexual future and I want orgasm equality.